Making a match
Dr. Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony.com, a popular dating website that's made many successful matches, has assembled his relationship advice in a new book. Like the eHarmony website, Falling in Love For All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soul Mate takes finding the right person very seriously, and sets marriage as the ultimate goal of any relationship. After more than 37 years as a psychotherapist (and even more years of marriage), Warren has identified 29 dimensions necessary to relationship success. Among these are family backgrounds, anger management, traditional versus nontraditional personalities, sexual passion, artistic passion and ambition. One of the most striking aspects of Warren's approach is his belief that it's essential to match your partner on most, if not all of the 29 dimensions. He writes, "I must confess that I have never seen a great marriage in which the couple were not matched on at least twenty-five or twenty-six of the twenty-nine dimensions." In other words, opposites may attract, but finding someone who is a lot like you gives you a far better chance of building a lasting relationship. And Warren admits there is one more factor to consider besides the 29 dimensions chemistry. "If the twenty-nine dimensions are the engine on which your marriage will travel long-term, chemistry is the key that will crank your motor and keep it going." Linda Stankard writes from Nanuet, New York.