Infomercial, shminfomercial: everything you need to know to get rich quick, or die laughing, is contained in Dave Barry's Money Secrets. Barry, the Pulitzer Prize-winning humor writer and former Miami Herald columnist, knows that most of us are completely overwhelmed by the glut of personal finance books and yakking economist-pundits. He dumbs it all down in the complete goofus guide to corporations ( the critical role of office furniture ), the U.S. economy ( Adam Sandler is involved ) and personal finance topics such as teaching children about money ( let the little bastards starve ); health care ( you'll need some leeches ); starting your own business ( harness the awesome power of human stupidity ); and saving money on travel ( good luck ). Detailed charts and graphs and photo collages provide more hilarity, and a tiny picture of overbearing personal-finance guru Suze Orman pops up as a punch line throughout the book. Barry's explanations for his theories are the highlight of the ride, including why the back of the dollar has a pyramid and a giant eyeball (this replaced an owl standing on an elephant, which was too difficult to engrave); and why Presbyterians like himself can't negotiate with shark-like car salesmen without the help of people like Gene Weingarten, a friend who would rather undergo a vasectomy with a WeedEater than purchase undercoating."