In Romances and Practicalities: A Love Story (Maybe Yours!) In 250 Questions, author Lindsay Jill Roth admits that, like many of us, she too read her way through the glut of often-dubious relationship advice books that seemed to pour into bookstores in the early aughts. After some disappointing dating experiences, Roth realized what was really needed was not games and contrived behavior, but forthright question-asking that ensured her new partner aligned with her both emotionally (“How do we fight, and how does that feel?”) and practically (“If we have children, how will that impact our careers?”). The List covers everything from pets to health, chores to sex, religion to spending habits, and seemingly everything in between.
Roth details the heady first days of her improbable relationship with her now-husband: a sweeping romance carried on across the Atlantic (Roth is American; her husband hails from the U.K.). It was during this time that she created The List: 250 questions that helped Roth and her beau get to know each other deeply, despite the distance, and measure their compatibility. One marriage and two babies later, Roth found herself handing out copies of The List to friends and family who were able to use it to their benefit, and in this book, she speaks with other couples, doctors, bloggers and relationship experts to discover why these questions work so well. She emphasizes that The List is an exercise for anyone, including single people: When you understand your own needs, behaviors and values clearly and with specificity, you are better able to determine whether or not a partner is aligned with them when one does come along.
Reading Roth’s book feels like taking advice from your funniest but most sensible friend. (Albeit a privileged one. I would venture to guess there aren’t many of us able to jet back and forth between London and New York continually; briefly living inside that slice of Roth’s life does prove to be vicarious fun, however). Romances and Practicalities offers a warm and thoughtful read that will prove thought-provoking for singles, those dating and long-term couples alike, and easily proves Roth’s unofficial thesis—communication is sexy.
