Carla Jean Whitley

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When Rolling Stone music critic Rob Sheffield called me from New York City, I didn’t spend any time with softball questions or developing rapport. I jumped right in with my hardest-hitting question about his new book, Heartbreak Is the National Anthem: How Taylor Swift Reinvented Pop Music: Did he write an essay about the 1989 bonus track “New Romantics” to drive listeners to play the song—and sing-scream his book title, a “New Romantics” lyric—on repeat?

I’m serious, though; immediately after reading the chapter, I cranked up my car stereo and belted out “New Romantics” three times in a row. Sheffield laughs; he understands.

“I think it was more that I was shouting out the title of the book while I was writing. That song is absolutely nuts, so perfect in terms of a statement of her worldview, a statement of her entire philosophy of life,” he says.

“Writing this book was going deeper into the Taylor Swift mysteries that have been perplexing us all over the years”

That outlook on Taylor Swift’s music shows up throughout Sheffield’s latest book and repeatedly during our conversation. And it’s clear from the outset of Heartbreak that Sheffield is a Swiftie, and his fellow Swifties will find lots to love here. But it’s not just for us: I could hand this book to a casual music fan who wants to understand the fuss or to a lifelong Swiftie. They would both leave with something new.

It’s hard to discuss the book and Sheffield’s motivation without slipping into fan talk. Heartbreak is relatable in part because of the connection to “all the Taylors you’ve ever been,” as Sheffield writes about the rhapsodic, parasocial reaction to the star’s Eras Tour.

“These songs, because they’re so emotionally intense, they catch you at the moment you are,” he says. “Even if the songs aren’t describing the situations you’re going through on a superficial level, they speak to the emotional truths. She’s got an uncanny knack for that.”

Sheffield leans in to that connection, crafting a book that isn’t exactly a biography, nor precisely a fan memoir or exclusively a cultural analysis. He uses all three of these approaches. It’s the same process he used for two of his most recent titles, 2016’s On Bowie and Dreaming the Beatles the following year. Sheffield’s love of his subject’s music is always part of the story, yet he goes beyond his own perspective.

 “No one listens to music more closely and are tougher to con than the teenage girl fans,”

“Like I said in my Beatles book,” Sheffield says, “I wasn’t writing a behind-the-music book, not where the music came from, but where it went—how it created the world we’re living in.” Significantly, he wrote about Bowie after his death and the Beatles long after the band’s dissolution. As an artist still in motion, Taylor Swift presented a new challenge: “As I was writing, she was always a step ahead of me.”

Those unfamiliar with Sheffield’s work might be surprised by a 50-something, male Rolling Stone writer following the avatar of American girlhood. They might even think he’s cashing in on the moment when Swift seems to be the world’s biggest celebrity. Bowie, the Beatles and other classic acts might seem more obvious choices. But Sheffield has been a Swiftie longer than I have—and probably longer than you, too.

“For me, it all comes down to ‘Our Song,’ ” he says of the 2007 single, Swift’s third. “Oh my gosh, I couldn’t believe my ears. . . . The way it’s this teenage girl saying, ‘I’ve heard every song ever made and ever recorded, and they’re not good enough. I’m just going to have to write my own song that is our song.’ Even before I Googled the singer, I Googled the songwriter.”

Sheffield was startled to find that the songwriter was also the singer—and that she was a teenager. He thought at the time, “Wow, I hope she has another song or two that’s this good.” He laughs. “Little did I know. Little did any of us know.”

Swift has written more than a couple of smash singles, and in fact, you can read Rob’s complete song-by-song ranking on Rolling Stone’s website. He updates it with each new release—but he always cheats to keep “Fifteen” at No. 15. Heartbreak is filled with knowing allusions to Taylor’s lyrics and catalog, which continued growing as the book was underway.

Sheffield began writing just before Swift’s record-setting Eras Tour began in March 2023. Why then? “For a while, I was thinking in terms of, wow, when she sort of hits a plateau level, that’ll be the time to take it all in,” he says. “When she stops innovating and inventing on a week-to-week basis, that’s the time to take stock.”

It became clear that Swift wasn’t slowing down anytime soon, so Sheffield took the plunge anyway. “I was trying to do justice to where she was at that point; at that point, Midnights was the new album,” he says. She’s released an album and re-released two others since then (and with Swift, there’s no telling—there could be another before this interview publishes). “By the time this book is out, she’ll have done something that demands another chapter,” Sheffield says. “She’s been on this hot streak for the past 18 years, and it’s rare for anyone to have a hot streak like this for one year.”

“She always wanted those songs to make a mess in your heart and your mind and keep making a mess.”

Sheffield continued to marinate in Swift’s music as he worked on the book, attending three consecutive shows early in the Eras Tour. “After three nights, I was absolutely ready for a wheelchair and a feeding tube,” he recalls. “I said, how is she even possibly functional this week given that all I did was stand in the audience and scream and sing along? And as we now know, she was not only doing this but making The Tortured Poets Department”—her latest album as of this writing—”between shows, which was just absolutely insane.”

Sheffield had plenty of material to draw from. “I’ve been writing about her for so long and pondering this stuff for so long and reading about her for so long—and reading since the early days, when almost everything written about her was condescending and dismissive. You hate to say, but that’s how she was written about for years,” he says. “Writing this book was going deeper into the Taylor Swift mysteries that have been perplexing us all over the years. I wasn’t trying to solve these mysteries, but just understand them a little better. A little deeper. Really, that’s the process for me. I was listening to the music. But I’m always listening to all those records.”

Heartbreak recounts Swift’s career with tremendous respect, and Sheffield’s knowledge of both her discography and the music she admires is clear. He draws connections to many artists whose influence shows up in her music: “She was a teenage prodigy who had studied all the greats,” including Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen, Prince, the Beatles and more. “It was so fascinating that this was someone who was so early in her career but was determined to be on an all-time great historic album.”

Sheffield also analyzes the world’s reaction to Swift, who has often been dismissed with derision, particularly earlier in her career: “People are always saying, ‘Oh she’s good for her age.’ But who are the people older than her who are supposedly writing better pop records?”

The condescending attitude also loops in teen girls, which doesn’t sit well with Sheffield, who is quick to note that Swift’s career started when she was a teenager. Now in her mid-30s, Swift continues to put teen girls first. Those teens are not only the secret to Swift’s success. They’ve been behind most artists with multigenerational fans.

“The teenage girls are just the most sophisticated listeners,” says SheffieldSheffied. “No one listens to music more closely and are tougher to con than the teenage girl fans,” he says. “In case you didn’t learn this from the Beatles or Bob Dylan or David Bowie or whoever, the teenage girls are getting things that the rest of the audience doesn’t.”

Heartbreak is an ode not only to the artist who sees those listeners as paramount, but also to the industry she’s reshaped in her image. Many of Swift’s fans have grown up with her, Sheffield notes, and that’s a rarity. “Ex-Swiftie is not a category, really. It’s not a phase that people grow out of, which was what was already predicted in the early days.”

Read our review of ‘Heartbreak Is the National Anthem’ by Rob Sheffield.

Today’s pop charts reflect this influence, too, with young women such as Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish and Chappell Roan releasing 2024’s songs of the summer. “That’s what pop music is now,” says Sheffield. “Taylor very much remade pop music in her image. The idea that pop music by women, for women is pop music. It’s not a subgenre or a sidecar to the story. It is the story. That’s an astoundingly huge innovation.”

And Swift’s music has given these musicians and their fans room to revel in the entire emotional experience of a song. “She was never writing songs that ended as songs. [It isn’t] ‘oh, what an elegantly turned verse, what an expertly turned chorus,’ ” Sheffield says. “She always wanted those songs to make a mess in your heart and your mind and keep making a mess.”

Heartbreak is a love letter to the songs that have created that mess in Sheffield’s own heart, and an invitation to bathe in the music. Swifties, in particular, are likely to find themselves queuing up track after track as they read—at least, this one did—and join Sheffield and me in shout-singing his book’s title again and again.

Photo of Rob Sheffield by Marisa-Bettencourt.

 

 

 

 

 

In Heartbreak Is the National Anthem, Rob Sheffield pens a love letter to the megastar and the teenage girls who sing-scream her lyrics.

We meet Sarah LaBrie in 2017, when her grandmother calls to tell her that LaBrie’s mother is experiencing delusions and paranoia. Brie is living in Los Angeles, writing commissioned opera libretti that explore generational and racial trauma on a broad scale. Since she eagerly left her childhood home in Houston, Texas, her education and career as a TV writer and librettist have carried her from coast to coast. Now, LaBrie’s focus must shift from her career in California to her mom’s well-being back in Houston. In her poignant debut memoir, No One Gets to Fall Apart, LaBrie faces her own generational trauma, and her work gets personal. 

LaBrie has often been the subject of her mother’s ire, finding herself banished to a closet as a child and subjected to incessant questioning as an adult. Her family has a history of men leaving, and women and children fending for themselves. As a result, her female relatives have developed a pattern of disassociating or isolating themselves when faced with difficult situations. As LaBrie enters her 30s and life with a partner, she fears that marriage and motherhood will be opportunities to repeat her family history.

As she tries to untangle how her mother’s deteriorating mental illness—she is eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia—and her own environment, family history and socioeconomic status have shaped her, LaBrie also writes of her equally tangled unpublished novel. “I’ve become so fixated on not allowing myself to go crazy, I’ve lost touch with the feelings that the story needs to work,” she writes. Her agent suggests, instead, that LaBrie try writing about her mother. But she resists: “Her illness is unfolding according to no rules at all, and no matter how I try to hold it together, the structure falls to pieces.”

She leans into that feeling in the memoir, which ranges widely, leaping across locations and ideas, and threatens to come apart just as the author’s life seems ready to detonate. But thanks to LaBrie’s remarkable intellect and frankness, these multifaceted streams of thought coalesce. Ambitious in scope, No One Gets to Fall Apart examines family dynamics, mental health, Blackness, literature, friendship, the #MeToo movement and more as LaBrie illustrates her desire to embrace her own emotions, even as the temptation to suppress them looms.

 

With remarkable insight and frankness, TV writer and librettist Sarah LaBrie mines her family history of mental illness in her ambitious debut memoir, No One Gets to Fall Apart.
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Both Same as It Ever Was and your debut, The Most Fun We Ever Had, are lengthy novels that examine family dynamics over the course of decades. What draws you to this type of story?

I’ve always been drawn as a reader to big, meaty novels that stick with a cast of characters over a long period of time, and it’s very much where I feel most at home as a writer—having the ability to explore my characters from all angles, from different vantage points in time and space. Once I fall in love with a character, I want to know absolutely everything about them, and in the case of Julia that meant getting to know not just her but her entire family, the trajectory of her upbringing and her marriage and her becoming a mother.

This time around, the time span is a bit tighter and the family’s matriarch, Julia, is at the center of the story. Can you tell us about how Julia’s character came to you?

Julia’s voice came to me first—her observational skills, her neuroses, her tendency toward self-sabotage. I find difficult characters much more interesting—and endearing, as it were—than their better behaved counterparts, and Julia delivered tenfold in this respect.

“We’re so deeply, messily shaped, as women, by our mothers—or mother figures.”

You’ve spoken before, to the New York Times, about doing your “emotional homework” in order to write about characters with experiences that are different from your own. How did you prepare to tell the story of Julia, a 57-year-old woman whose marriage has persevered despite past challenges and who is preparing for life as an empty nester? 

I had to get to know Julia as a much younger woman before I felt comfortable writing about her later in her life. I did similar work with The Most Fun We Ever Had, overwriting a great deal just to get my characters in certain situations to see how they’d react, examining them in childhood and in the quieter and less cinematic moments that don’t make it into the final draft of a novel. I explored many different phases of Julia’s life—her difficult childhood, her somewhat traumatic adolescence, her lost decade before she meets Mark, the early days of marriage and parenthood—before arriving at the 57-year-old Julia and understanding who she was.

Same as It Ever Was focuses on complex maternal relationships. What inspired you to explore this subject?

There’s just endless fictional fodder in family relationships, and I think mother-daughter relationships are perhaps the most fodder-full of all; I could write 10 more books exploring characters exclusively through this lens. We’re so deeply, messily shaped, as women, by our mothers—or mother figures—and then by becoming mothers, or not, the how and the why of it. And there’s a great deal of societal pressure and expectation as well—what it means to be a good mother, how much mothers are accountable for, the notion that we should want children and delight in them. Julia’s feelings about motherhood are complex and not especially rosy, and she’s often ashamed of them, or confused by them, which I don’t think is an uncommon experience by any stretch, so I wanted to explore it as candidly as I could.

Like The Most Fun We Ever Had, Same as It Ever Was plays with flashbacks, carrying the reader across decades to gain insight into the past moments that have shaped the characters’ present. What appeals to you about this structure? 

I love having the freedom to move around in time because it enables me to look holistically at my characters. Nobody exists in a vacuum; everyone is shaped by a wealth of big and small moments. I’ll also say that there was some degree of claustrophobia writing this novel—residing in the head of a single character over 500 pages—and moving between different versions of Julia allowed me some breathing room, and often spaces to find empathy for the character.

This novel is rich and sprawling—easy to read, but packed with hefty sentences full of detail and action. Those sentences surely couldn’t have been as easy to create as they are to consume. How long did it take you to write Same as It Ever Was?

I actually started this novel around 2015, when I was still finishing The Most Fun We Ever Had—I like to have two projects underway simultaneously. And like Most Fun, I wrote this book very much out of order, so the structure took a lot of working and reworking. This story isn’t told linearly, and finding the right shape for it was a challenge.

Tell us more about your writing process. Do you outline? Do these rich sentences appear more or less fully formed, or do you labor over their composition, starting with something leaner before hanging meat on the bone?

I don’t outline until I have a full draft on the page—once I do have a finished draft, I make a storyboard, which helps me to visualize the arc of the novel and fine-tune how I might make it work better. The sentence-level writing came fairly easily to me—it helped to have such a voicey narrator in Julia! Once I really got to know her voice—which, to be fair, is a lot like my own, full of segue and non sequitur and interruption—I had no trouble articulating her thoughts.

What are your reading habits like when you’re writing?

I have to be careful! I try not to read books with too much thematic overlap to avoid being unconsciously nudged in any particular direction. When I was deep in the writing of Same as It Ever Was, I was reading a lot of mystery novels—I read the entire Louise Penny series, for instance—because they felt in terms of genre and structure to be far enough away from my project.

Given that you also work part time as a bookseller, I’m curious: What books have you been encouraging customers to buy lately?

It is such a joy that part of my job is getting to shove books I love into the hands of customers. Some of my most-shoved books lately are The Trees by Percival Everett, The Sentence by Louise Erdrich, and American Mermaid by Julia Langbein. I also love nudging our mystery seekers toward Tana French and Richard Osman.

Do you bring anything from your experience as a bookseller to your writing?

There’s absolutely overlap between the bookseller and writer parts of me—I’m fascinated by human dynamics, by understanding what makes people tick, and I think those interests benefit me in writing books and talking to other people about them. And working in a bookstore has turned me on to books I might not otherwise have read, which is a great gift.

Read our review of Same as It Ever Was.

Following up The Most Fun We Ever Had, Claire Lombardo returns with another big introspective novel, Same as It Ever Was, which explores the highs and lows of a family and a marriage from the point of view of its matriarch.

Julia Ames is shopping for her husband’s 60th birthday party, on the hunt for ingredients that were out of stock at her regular grocery store. It seems like an ordinary task, traveling two towns over for crab meat—until Julia spots in the aisles the one woman whom she intended to avoid for the rest of her life.

Helen Russo was a volunteer at the botanic garden when the two women met about 20 years earlier. At the time, Julia was struggling to find ways to fill the days with her young son. She had never felt completely at ease in life, although meeting her husband made her feel tethered in a way she didn’t feel with her mother, who had raised Julia on her own. After becoming a mother herself, Julia  loved her son madly, but she felt the impact of her early loneliness: “She’d never had a proper set of tools, but it had mattered less before; now there were others involved.”

Since giving birth, Julia had been adrift, and everything seemed too much. Helen—older than Julia by two decades, more experienced as the mother of five grown sons—recognized what the younger woman needed and quickly befriended her.

Now, running into Helen in the grocery store sends Julia’s mind racing back to those early days of motherhood and decisions that nearly destroyed her marriage. Told in chapters alternating past and present, Same as It Ever Was explores the challenges of motherhood and of being mothered. As in her New York Times bestselling debut, The Most Fun We Ever Had, novelist Claire Lombardo dives deeply into her characters’ lives to mine the family dynamics that shaped them.

Lombardo peels away years of secrecy to reveal the choices that led Julia to—and then away from—her defining friendship with Helen. The reader gets to know Julia not only as a nearly 60-year-old mother of adult children and earlier as a struggling new mother, but also as a teenager with her own difficult, tumultuous mother. As Lombardo draws back the curtain on Julia’s past, the parallels to her present life become clear. Same as It Ever Was is an engrossing story of maternal complexity and a reminder of the myriad ways the past can quietly inform the present.

Claire Lombardo finds “difficult characters much more interesting”: Read our Q&A with the author about Same as It Ever Was.

As in her New York Times bestselling debut, The Most Fun We Ever Had, novelist Claire Lombardo dives deeply into her characters’ lives to mine the family dynamics that shaped them, delivering an engrossing story of the challenges of motherhood.

Growing up together means our siblings understand “not just who you are but why you are,” as author Annie Sklaver Orenstein writes. Sometimes the “why” is even a direct response to the siblings themselves; we may follow in an older sibling’s footsteps or rebel against expectations set by their example.

We expect siblings to not only grow up with us but also grow old alongside us; even when relationships are strained or barely existent, siblings share history, and their family experience may most closely mirror one another’s. When a sibling dies early, it can be a devastating, isolating loss. But there aren’t a lot of resources for sibling-specific grief. Orenstein has learned this firsthand in the 13-plus years since her oldest brother’s death in Afghanistan when she was 25.

In Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner’s Guide to Grief, Orenstein addresses this gap in resources by providing tips, related reading and exercises to help readers face their grief after a sibling’s death. A researcher and oral historian, Orenstein puts her skills to use by collecting stories of sibling loss, braiding anecdotes and data with her own experience with grief.

Her plain-spoken, direct style ensures that the research she shares remains relatable. Sometimes she names too many interview subjects and their siblings, leaving the stories at risk of running together. But at their best, the stories help readers feel seen. For example, Orenstein recounts a woman at a party who opens up after hearing that the author is working on this book. The woman quickly warms to the subject and asks, is her experience normal? Or are the feelings she’s faced since her sibling’s death just her own? 

And that’s Always a Sibling’s greatest triumph. There are grief support groups and resources for parents, spouses and kids whose parents have died. But it isn’t often that young (or youngish) adults encounter others who share sibling loss. Orenstein shows her readers that they aren’t alone. Their feelings and reactions aren’t unusual. And their grief matters, too.

Always a Sibling braids stories, data and the author’s own experience with loss to provide a rare guide to mourning a sibling’s death.

It’s 2040 and Leo Yang has just left his wife, Eko, at the Shanghai airport with their two oldest daughters. The girls are returning to school in Boston, but they’re confident travelers. This route isn’t new to them. This time, though, Eko insisted on accompanying them on the journey halfway around the world. Leo can’t understand why. “What was she hiding, then, the true motivation for going away?” he wonders. “She was always dancing around the truth, yet Leo would fish it out, dig it up from deep below.”

In Shanghailanders, debut novelist Juli Min methodically unspools the strands of the Yang family story, beginning with Leo’s questions about Eko. Each family member has their own secrets, moments that define who they’ve become. Geography influences the characters, and Min explores their Pan-Asian identities. Eko is of Japanese descent but was raised in France. Leo is Chinese. As the story expands their backgrounds, their cultural differences and values become visible.

With each chapter, Min shifts to another character’s perspective and moves backward in time. Readers see Leo and Eko’s perspectives, which are the heart of the story. But they also meet the three Yang daughters and tertiary characters important to the family. The ways that the girls view their parents don’t always align with how their parents see themselves. Still, this is really a story about Eko and Leo. The tension in their relationship that’s evident as Eko accompanies her daughters to America, several decades into their marriage, has its roots in the couple’s early days together. 

As she crafts a journey that stretches from 2040 back to 2014, Min shows us the breadth of Leo and Eko’s relationship and many of its defining moments. The chapters of Shanghailanders appear akin to short stories. Each offers a glimpse into a key moment, such as a special understanding between father and daughter, or mom’s overspending tendencies. Taken together, these vignettes become a portrait of a marriage. Min deftly deploys this atypical structure to reveal how many small moments and secrets can shape who a couple—and a family—become. 

As she crafts a journey that stretches from 2040 back to 2014, debut novelist Juli Min reveals how many small moments and secrets can shape who a couple—and a family—become.

Writing saved Janet Frame’s life.

In 1951, the 27-year-old writer was scheduled for a lobotomy. She’d spent her adulthood in psychiatric facilities, and the extremely damaging practice was in its heyday. But after Frame’s debut book won a literary award, a doctor called off the procedure.

Frame is one of many authors Suzanne Scanlon references to create a throughline between reading, writing and illness in her memoir, Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen. Here, the author of novels Promising Young Women and Her 37th Year, an Index, traces her entwined reading and mental health histories.

In her early 20s, Scanlon spent more than two years in a psychiatric hospital and experienced shorter hospitalizations for several years to follow. Both during that first stint and the years since, she’s turned to books for insight into the world and her own mental health, a practice mirrored in her childhood. When her mother was dying, 8-year-old Scanlon created order from the grief and chaos around her through imaginative play. The immersive nature of this coping strategy is akin to what Scanlon now finds in literature.

Committed leaps across time, mirroring how Scanlon comes to understand her own narrative, organizing an unconventional timeline from her fragmented memories. She also plays with form, occasionally breaking from running narrative with lists explaining her illness, or switching from first- to second-person to place the reader in a scene.

Committed is also about authors who faced mental illness, among them Marguerite Duras and Sylvia Plath. Janet Frame, Scanlon writes, is “the patron saint of writers once institutionalized, the long-institutionalized, the young women everywhere told they were hopeless, what would become of them now, defined by the places where they lived.”

“What we call mental illness is so rarely portrayed with any depth or complexity,” Scanlon writes. But as she combs the archives of her reading, she finds “information about what it means to be alive in [any] shifting historical moment.” By lacing her story with literary analysis and cultural history, she creates a thoughtful reflection on how societal expectations can impact people, women in particular, and how writing and reading can provide a port in the storm.

In her stirring memoir, Committed, Suzanne Scanlon tracks her entwined reading and mental health histories.

Annie Brown was the proverbial glue of her family. She picked up her husband, Bill, at a party and they married after their fling led to a pregnancy—the first of many for the Brown family. Annie brought joy to the patients at the nursing home where she worked. She provided accountability for her best friend, Annemarie, when the temptation to revisit addictions flared. Beyond Bill’s trusted life partner, Annie was both role model and caregiver for their daughter and three sons. So when she dies, suddenly, the people around her are not simply bereft—they’re lost. As Bill reflects on his wife’s death, he observes the disjointed way Annie’s loved ones stumble through their grief: “There was some kind of river of loss underneath them all. There was no way to know how to move on.” 

In Anna Quindlen’s latest novel, After Annie, the novelist turns her masterful eye on the lives of the people closest to Annie: Bill, their daughter Ali, and Annemarie. As Quindlen cycles through their perspectives during the first year following Annie’s death, we see the ways the characters circle each other. Ali becomes an adult the moment her mom falls to the floor, absorbing the responsibilities her dad is too shell-shocked to take on. Bill, a plumber, responds to endless calls from the town’s single women. Annemarie initially makes time for Ali but soon drifts away as her addiction surges again. 

Throughout her career, Quindlen’s fiction and nonfiction alike have showcased her attention to detail and ability to weave compelling narratives from the common experiences that comprise life. After Annie follows in the footsteps of Miller’s Valley, Still Life with Bread Crumbs, Alternate Side and other Quindlen novels that examine families and the people in their immediate orbits. After Annie is a heartfelt, nuanced portrait of life after loss.

In Anna Quindlen’s latest novel, After Annie, the novelist turns her masterful eye on a family’s life after loss.

After Sloane Crosley’s apartment is burglarized, she’s unmoored. The thief stole handfuls of jewelry that once belonged to Crosley’s grandmother—a cruel woman whom she didn’t like, Crosley’s mom reminds her. But the jewelry was Crosley’s, and she wants it back. She also wants the sense of safety that fled with the burglar as he exited her bedroom window and descended the fire escape onto Manhattan streets. That isn’t so easy to recover, so instead Crosley channels her uncertainty into detective work.

Crosley wrestles with her feelings about the burglary, writing, “Grief is for people, not things.” And on the one-month anniversary of the incident, her grief finds a new object. Her best friend, Russell, dies by suicide. If the burglary unmoored Crosley, Russell’s death sends her out to sea.

In her memoir Grief Is for People, Crosley attempts to write her way through the five stages of grief, which provide the book’s structure. Russell’s death trumps Crosley’s missing jewelry, but the two incidents are intertwined in both her psyche and her experience. She and Russell—a former boss from when she worked in book publishing—would spend hours at flea markets in search of treasures. The spice cabinet the jewelry was taken from was one of Russell’s finds, and a missing ring was one of the identifying factors Russell noted on Crosley’s resume during her job interview (“Long brown hair. Square ring”).

Crosley’s work is often praised for its humor, whether in her essay collections (I Was Told There’d Be Cake, How Did You Get This Number) or novels (Cult Classic, The Clasp). But Grief Is for People places at the forefront a remarkable willingness to face the dark questions that follow a suicide. Crosley began writing one month after Russell’s 2019 death in an attempt to convince herself that he was really gone (a conclusion she accepts, inconveniently, during the COVID-19 pandemic). Her search for acceptance is an impulse that readers who have mourned a loved one may recognize—an effort to map a new emotional landscape on what looks, to a non-mourner’s eye, like the same old world.

In Grief Is for People, Sloane Crosley shows a remarkable willingness to face the dark questions that follow a suicide.

“One of the many things that I love about plants is their will and determination to live by any means necessary,” Brandi Sellerz-Jackson writes. “What if we all dared not only to reach for the sun but to take up space while doing so?”

In On Thriving: Harnessing Joy Through Life’s Great Labors, Sellerz-Jackson draws inspiration from the plant world as she shares how she’s moved from existing to thriving. As a birth, postpartum and life doula, and as a blogger and founder of the Black-mom collective Moms of Color, she has coached others through their biggest challenges. On Thriving offers guidance for flourishing in relationships and with one’s self.

Sellerz-Jackson has faced devastating challenges of her own from the time she was a hyper-vigilant child whose instinct was to hide every sharp object in the house so her abusive father couldn’t do greater harm to her mother or himself. So when she references a plant’s journey, she’s not making light of traumatic human experiences. Instead, she’s drawing an analogy between the inner work she’s completed and the plant life that inspires her. On Thriving blends memoir and self-help, with Sellerz-Jackson excavating her own experiences and prompting others to examine the ways they’re holding back.

Most chapters conclude with questions or journal prompts meant to guide the reader back into conversation with themselves. Brief, poetic interludes provide a pause in the midst of often-heavy reflection. Throughout, and especially in the book’s final section, Sellerz-Jackson examines ways being othered has affected her identity and healing. As a Black woman and a mother, she has wrestled with the expectation of being a “goddess”—which she says, “robs us Black women of our humanity and plays into the strong Black woman archetype.”

Some may have been othered in different ways, and she encourages them to examine how that experience has affected the ways they move through the world. Sellerz-Jackson uses a conversational, direct tone and tremendous empathy to guide all readers to live as the best versions of themselves.

In Brandi Sellerz-Jackson’s On Thriving, she uses a conversational, direct tone and tremendous empathy to guide readers on how to move from existing to thriving.

Shahnaz Habib and her husband planned a Parisian getaway, a special vacation before the birth of their first child. After suggesting the vacation and booking airfare, Habib’s husband promised to handle the paperwork for her visa. In addition to her Indian passport, the application required numerous documents, including her itinerary, proof of accommodations, three months of bank statements and a letter from her employer.

“This is what my husband needed for his application: nothing,” Habib writes. “He did not need a visa at all. He could simply walk into France, straight off the airplane.”

In Airplane Mode: An Irreverent History of Travel, Habib threads her personal experience with a thought-provoking examination of the business of wanderlust. Her research comes from myriad sources and is synthesized with her own experience as an Indian woman who has traveled the world and immigrated to New York City. As she found when applying for a visa, travel isn’t a democratic experience.

After consulting with an immigration lawyer and submitting a “nesting doll of paperwork,” Habib was rejected because her hair covered her ears in the photo they submitted. Habib weaves throughout this anecdote a detailed history of the passport and how it has empowered some—namely, white people—to move about the world freely, while constraining many others. While this and other histories may read as rather academic, Habib shows us that to understand her experience is to understand the experience of people like her throughout modern history. “Our stories end up sounding like strings of bad luck rather than the result of a calculated move to stop peasants from coming to Paris,” Habib writes of the failed trip.

The word “travel” derives from “travails,” she explains. And in medieval times, that was an accurate description. But today, travel is a privilege and an industry. Tourism can help power an economy and support local people working in the industry, but it’s often at the expense of their own culture. Habib turns her attention to her home state, Kerala, which sits along the Malabar Coast of India, to powerfully depict the differences between a travel destination—lush, charming, romantic—and an adjacent, non-tourist town—all business, no charm. In doing so, she finds plenty to praise in the workaday environment.

Habib’s personal anecdotes help make this sometimes-dense history more accessible and readable because her stories illustrate why all of this matters. Frequent travelers won’t find comfort or justification for their own travel bucket lists in Airplane Mode. Instead, Habib’s analytical tour of travel’s history invites readers to engage more thoughtfully with their journeys and to consider who is and is not able to take part in these adventures.

In Airplane Mode, Shahnaz Habib intelligently examines the business of travel, encouraging us to engage more thoughtfully with our journeys.

One recent morning, before I left home to plant white oak trees in a nearby park, I turned to Margaret Renkl’s The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year. As often happens, a passage from the New York Times columnist grounded me and pulled my vision forward: “Planting a tree is a gesture of faith in the future,” writes Renkl. She continues later in the essay, “I think of what we are losing from this world and of what we will leave behind when we ourselves are lost. The trees. The stories. The people who love us and who know we love them, who will carry our love into the world after we are gone.”

These personal reflections on the natural world, often as observed from her suburban half-acre in Nashville, abound in The Comfort of Crows and throughout Renkl’s writing. Essays in her sparkling 2019 debut Late Migrations offered glimpses into loss and living as they toggled between Renkl’s past and present across the Southern U.S. Her 2021 book, Graceland, at Last, collected dozens of essays from her Times column. A handful of the essays in The Comfort of Crows appeared in the Times, too, but this book takes a different approach. 

“Planting a tree is a gesture of faith in the future.”

Renkl crafted an essay for each week of the year and paired them with 52 original collages by her brother, artist Billy Renkl. For the 11th week in winter, she uses a tree’s knothole as a metaphor, linking the decay of the natural world to the changing patterns of her life. She admires the greenery sprouting from the hole and notes the space where animals may have sheltered. It is a place where “radiant things are bursting forth in the darkest places, in the smallest nooks and deepest cracks of the hidden world.”

Renkl processes change and tragedy: the deaths of her ancestors, aging, becoming an empty nester, the COVID-19 pandemic, encroaching development in her neighborhood and, inevitably, climate change. Longer essays are interspersed with “praise songs,” short poetic observations on the natural world. The book can be read straight through or stretched across the calendar as a weekly literary devotional. Billy Renkl’s stunning collages provide an invitation to meditate, to pray, to breathe.

Infused with empathy, The Comfort of Crows reminds us to treasure the living beings who surround us with each breath we take. Renkl’s insights root us within our world. “I’ll gather acorns to plant here and there at our house—in enough different places, I hope, for a few to escape the blue jays,” she writes. “With any luck, some autumn in a year I may not live to see, there will be many acorns.”

Margaret Renkl’s The Comfort of Crows is a shimmering weekly devotional that praises living beings great and small.

Christie Tate confronted her eating disorder head-on. She worked through her tendency to date men with alcoholism and even found a healthy relationship with a man she would eventually marry. This meant she’d tackled her issues, right? 

Tate recounted this recovery process in the New York Times bestseller Group, but it turns out the work of healing doesn’t end at “I do.” Her fear of intimacy had improved in some areas of her life, but Tate soon realized that her friendships needed attention, too.

In B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, Tate writes about her journey toward friendship using the language of recovery and 12-step programs. Such meetings brought numerous influential women into Tate’s life, including Meredith, who pledged to work through her own friendship issues alongside Tate.

Tate had previously allowed friendships to fade whenever she moved from one life phase to the next. When Meredith came along, however, she pushed Tate to reflect on why she felt separate from others, which allowed Tate to begin recognizing patterns from her childhood. For example, Tate’s mom and sister had shared a bathroom when she was growing up, and they sat beside each other at the family dining table. Meanwhile, Tate had shared a bathroom with her father and brother, who also separated her from her mom and sister at meals. 

Tate explores these memories and her adult friendships with the same vulnerability that made Group such a captivating read. She’s unafraid to share the unvarnished truth about her insecurities, such as when a friend with whom Tate felt competitive considered joining one of her therapy groups, and Tate reacted by gouging a bloody line into her own arm.

But Meredith modeled lasting friendship for Tate, even when it was uncomfortable. One memorable day after Meredith had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, Tate told Meredith she planned to write about their friendship. Meredith gave her blessing: “Tell them how we changed by holding each other’s hand as we looked honestly at ourselves. Tell how one life can alter another.”

B.F.F. is an openhearted examination of the power of friendship from people who love us exactly as we are.

In B.F.F., Christie Tate explores her adult friendships with the same vulnerability that made her first memoir, Group, such a captivating read.

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