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Self-help books crowd the shelves of America’s bookstores, beckoning consumers with all sorts of hopeful promises—from thinner thighs and bigger bank accounts to spiritual and sexual nirvanas. Though Richard Stengel’s publisher has placed his instructive book, Mandela’s Way, in the self-help genre, it stands head and shoulders above the rest of the assistive literary hoi polloi.

Stengel, the editor of Time magazine, collaborated with the liberator and Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela on his 1994 autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. He spent nearly three years with Mandela, conducting hours of extensive interviews, traveling with him, shadowing his every move. “I kept a diary of my time with him that eventually grew to 120,000 words,” writes Stengel in the book’s introduction. “Much of this book comes from those notes.”

Distilled from those jottings are 15 essential lessons modeled on Stengel’s observations and interpretations of Mandela’s courage and wisdom, exemplary leadership, compassion and love of humanity. From clear words on courage and self-control (“be measured”) to the benefits of presenting a good image, seeing the good in others, keeping your rivals and enemies close (this particular dictum is famously chronicled in the recent movie Invictus) and believing in the difference that love can make, the lessons are seamlessly intertwined with stories from Mandela’s life. This texture is one of the book’s key strengths, but a beautiful grace note is Stengel’s undiluted—yet clear-sighted—regard for the complex man who survived an unspeakably difficult 27-year incarceration and who said of his prison experience, “I came out mature.”

Ultimately, the true light of this inspirational book is the utter believability of these lessons. The hotheaded young Mandela, protégé of a tribal king who turned into a fierce freedom fighter, grew gradually into a man who, literally and figuratively, “found his own garden.” Though at age 91 Mandela is in the twilight of his life, he still personifies this grand lesson plan, these 15 deceptively simple steps to empowering self and others.

Alison Hood writes from Marin County, California.

Self-help books crowd the shelves of America’s bookstores, beckoning consumers with all sorts of hopeful promises—from thinner thighs and bigger bank accounts to spiritual and sexual nirvanas. Though Richard Stengel’s publisher has placed his instructive book, Mandela’s Way, in the self-help genre, it stands head…

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Women who are mothers writing about motherhood what better way to celebrate Mother’s Day than to read or share a book like that? One excellent example is Mother-Daughter Wisdom: Creating a Legacy of Physical and Emotional Health by best-selling author Dr. Christiane Northrup (Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom). Northrup points out a simple but profound truth: every woman is a daughter. She believes the mother-daughter bond, “in all its beauty, pain and complexity, forms the very foundation of a woman’s state of health.” Northrup likens the stages of a woman’s life to moving through a house, starting at the foundation and going upward. If a woman moves confidently from one room to the next, she builds a legacy of emotional and physical health, a guidepost for her daughter to follow. Failing to do so, however, getting stuck in one room or skipping one, often results in emotional or health-related problems. But she also maintains that despite the connectedness between mothers and daughters, each woman is on her own separate journey, responsible for “her own life, her own choices, her own happiness.” Mother-Daughter Wisdom offers a wealth of advice on health eating, exercise, self-esteem, moral decisions, money matters, sexuality and it’s a must-have on every woman’s shelf.

Linda Stankard is a mother and a daughter.

Women who are mothers writing about motherhood what better way to celebrate Mother's Day than to read or share a book like that? One excellent example is Mother-Daughter Wisdom: Creating a Legacy of Physical and Emotional Health by best-selling author Dr. Christiane Northrup (Women's Bodies,…
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Dynamic Texas preacher Joel Osteen proved to be as successful an author as he is a pastor: his congregation at Lakewood Church in Houston is 28,000 strong and one of the fastest-growing in America, according to Forbes.com and his faith-based self-help book, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps for Living at Your Full Potential, shot straight up the bestseller list when it was published late last year. The inspirational guide, which shared insights from Osteen’s sermons and lessons, struck a chord with readers, and this month, Warner Faith is releasing an accompanying journal, Your Best Life Now Journal: A Guide to Reaching Your Full Potential. The charismatic young pastor took over his father’s congregation after the older Osteen’s sudden death in 1999. His honest and practical advice urges readers to take time for reflection and devote one week to master each of the seven principles, which include letting go of the past, enlarging one’s vision, living to give, developing a healthy self-image and choosing to be happy. Scripture quotes that support each principle are included, and extra space is provided to record thoughts, ideas and emotions that will be sure to surface along the way.

Though his sermons are aired on television and radio each week, Osteen and his wife Victoria are currently on a 15-city stadium tour across the U.S. to spread their motivational message in person. Despite his popularity, Osteen feels his ideas are simple. I just have a message of hope and victory, he says.

Dynamic Texas preacher Joel Osteen proved to be as successful an author as he is a pastor: his congregation at Lakewood Church in Houston is 28,000 strong and one of the fastest-growing in America, according to Forbes.com and his faith-based self-help book, Your Best Life…

Western society has carefully cultivated the myth that every mother sympathizes uniquely with her children and loves them unconditionally. Even fairy tales have been revised to reflect the idea that a biological mother is incapable of cruelty; centuries ago it was Snow White’s own mother, not a jealous stepmother, who was forced to dance to her death in hot iron shoes for treating her adolescent daughter as a rival. In Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt, Peg Streep explores the uncomfortable reality of mothers who lack an inherent ability to love their children—especially daughters.

Streep, herself the daughter of what she terms an “unloving mother,” deftly weaves her recollections and those of other Baby Boomer-generation daughters together with scientific studies of mother-child bonds and psychologists’ observations to illuminate the reasons why some mothers are unable to nurture their daughters.

Born in an era when married women were expected to have children regardless of their capacity for caring, the adult daughters interviewed remember mothers who constantly insulted their appearances, criticized their lifestyles, discounted their achievements and—perhaps causing the deepest wounds—refused to offer the everyday comforts of kind looks, calming voices and gentle touch. Without asking for pity, Streep shows how daughters denied their mothers’ intimate gestures can develop uncertainty in their self-images, leading to compensatory behaviors like overeating, overspending and overachieving.

At age three Streep recognized her mother’s detachment as the inability to love her, knowing “more than anything, that her power was enormous and that the light of her sun was what I needed. But that light could burn, flicker, or disappear for any or no reason.” Despite her painful history, Streep has been able to write a legacy of love with her own daughter. Ultimately, she concludes that while we learn many behaviors from them, we are not our mothers, and we can triumph in disrupting the cycle of hurt.

Jillian Mandelkern is a teacher and writer in Pennsylvania.

Western society has carefully cultivated the myth that every mother sympathizes uniquely with her children and loves them unconditionally. Even fairy tales have been revised to reflect the idea that a biological mother is incapable of cruelty; centuries ago it was Snow White’s own mother,…

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With a string of wildly successful books behind her, communications expert Deborah Tannen turns to the emotionally charged topic of sisterhood. Written in a conversational style, You Were Always Mom’s Favorite! offers a look into the passionate dynamics that occur in the relationships between sisters, a visceral connection that can be both symbiotic and suffocating, life-changing and joyful. No one can relate to you like a sister, no one can share your experiences like a sister and conversely, no one can push your buttons like a sister.

Tannen bases her work on interviews—or as she prefers to say, focused conversations—with more than 100 women, ranging in age from late teens to their early 90s. One of the many strengths of this powerful book is the way she highlights the stories the women tell about their lives. We learn how their sisters were there for them in a time of crisis, how they converse in a unique way (“sisterspeak”) and how they provide a lifeline for each other. Many subjects felt that their sisters were someone “to talk to and laugh with,” someone who shares the same childhood memories. In the interviews, Tannen skillfully weaves the poignant (“I can’t imagine life without her”) with the mundane (“I love her to death but she drives me crazy”) and a fascinating picture emerges. Is sisterhood a bond or bondage?

In The Other Boleyn Girl, Anne says to Mary, “I was born to be your rival. And you, mine. We’re sisters, aren’t we?” A sisterly relationship can be challenging, fraught with peril and misunderstandings. One misstep, one false note in a heart-to-heart conversation, and the connection is severed or irreparably damaged.

Tannen, one of three sisters herself, has written a captivating book that offers a window into this fascinating topic.

Mary Kennedy is a psychologist and mystery writer in Delaware. Her new series, The Talk Radio Mysteries, will be released in January.

With a string of wildly successful books behind her, communications expert Deborah Tannen turns to the emotionally charged topic of sisterhood. Written in a conversational style, You Were Always Mom’s Favorite! offers a look into the passionate dynamics that occur in the relationships between sisters,…

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Love is a Four-Letter Word: True Stories of Breakups, Bad Relationships, and Broken Hearts, a new collection edited by Michael Taeckens, offers flashes of insight from well-known writers about love gone wrong. Gary Shteyngart writes of the leggy blonde who followed him all over Europe, sobbing. Junot Diaz remembers an ill-fated trip with a lover to the Dominican Republic. George Singleton somehow brings dignity to the act of peeing in his girlfriend’s kitty litter box.

But the best stories come from the newer or lesser-known writers. Both “Runaway Train” by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh and “Conversations You Have at Twenty” by blogger Maud Newton depict torturous, sprawling and ultimately unhealthy relationships with the wincing comedy and clarity that can only come from having been in the trenches. Meanwhile, “Why Won’t You Just Love Me?” by Emily Flake—one of several comic strips in the batch—shows the painful trajectory of a one-night stand that resulted in the author having to send an apology note.

There are a few misses here—most notably, the lifeless introduction by Neal Pollack—but on the whole, the pieces sparkle with wit, pain and honesty. If one can deduce an overarching conclusion, it’s that love is not as blind as the clichés would lead us to believe. Nearly all the writers in this collection sensed their breakup well before it happened, but let the relationship continue past (sometimes well past) this point of realization. The anthology never seeks to explore this disconnect, but one has to wonder: is it because we’re spineless? Naïve? Complacent? Or is it simply—as the contributors here continually show—that the best stories are often the least clear-cut?

Jillian Quint is an Assistant Editor at the Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.

Love is a Four-Letter Word: True Stories of Breakups, Bad Relationships, and Broken Hearts, a new collection edited by Michael Taeckens, offers flashes of insight from well-known writers about love gone wrong. Gary Shteyngart writes of the leggy blonde who followed him all over Europe,…

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According to King Solomon, wisdom cries in the street, imploring the simple to acquire her reproof. If it were only that easy. Wisdom may cry in the street, but it also hides in the nooks and crannies of our psyches, walks on the waters of our adversities and disguises itself in paradox and poetry. In his inspiring book, Where Shall Wisdom Be Found?, literary critic Harold Bloom explores the great writing of Western culture in his quest for wisdom. Bloom’s criteria are simple: he is searching for Truth, Beauty and Insight. Drawing from the writings of the ancient Hebrews and Greeks, the classic literature of Shakespeare and Cervantes, and the philosophical musings of Goethe and Nietzsche, Bloom attempts to synthesize the wisdom of the ages into a succinct syllabus. “We read and reflect,” he writes, “because we hunger and thirst for wisdom.”

According to King Solomon, wisdom cries in the street, imploring the simple to acquire her reproof. If it were only that easy. Wisdom may cry in the street, but it also hides in the nooks and crannies of our psyches, walks on the waters…
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Popular author Marianne Williamson begins her new book, The Gift of Change, on the seemingly unremarkable premise that life is tough and rapidly getting tougher. In a world where the only constant is change, Williamson advocates the radical concept of embracing change as the only efficacious avenue for spiritual growth. Whether we like it or not, she writes, life today is different. The speed of change is faster than the human psyche seems able to handle. In a time when the “center does not hold,” Williamson insists the most important thing to remember during these times of momentous change is to fix our eyes on the one thing that doesn’t change God. Indeed, while many see this era as the precursor to Armageddon, Williamson believes it is the time of the Great Beginning. “It is time to die to who we used to be and to become instead who we are capable of being,” she writes.

Popular author Marianne Williamson begins her new book, The Gift of Change, on the seemingly unremarkable premise that life is tough and rapidly getting tougher. In a world where the only constant is change, Williamson advocates the radical concept of embracing change as the…
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Holistic health care a natural approach to healing which considers both the mind and the body, the spiritual as well as the physical is surging in popularity, and childcare is no exception. For parents interested in exploring the possibilities, Natural Baby and Childcare: Practical Medical Advice and Holistic Wisdom for Raising Healthy Children from Birth to Adolescence is a comprehensive resource, a one-stop shop, for any question about how to care for children in a holistic way. This guide complements rather than challenges more traditional, mainstream parenting guides. Author Lauren Feder, M.D., offers natural cures for almost any disease or injury and covers a wide range of issues, from prenatal care to teething remedies for infants to acne treatments for teenagers. Parents with environmental concerns can read about alternatives to plastic diapers and products with potentially dangerous chemicals. Feder also addresses such timely and pressing issues as the link between vaccines and autism and the benefits of breast-feeding. This excellent reference can help moms and dads make the best decisions regarding the total health of their children.

Katherine Wyrick is a writer in Little Rock and the mother of two.

Holistic health care a natural approach to healing which considers both the mind and the body, the spiritual as well as the physical is surging in popularity, and childcare is no exception. For parents interested in exploring the possibilities, Natural Baby and Childcare: Practical Medical…
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On the other hand . . . maybe parenting is more of an exact science than previously realized. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland aims to show parents how current scientific research can help their child-rearing efforts. As Sunderland writes, It’s both awesome and sobering to know that as parents we have such a direct effect on the actual wiring and long-term chemical balance in our children’s brains. Yikes. Sunderland’s statement could very well strike terror in the hearts of parents, but this exhaustively researched tome is meant to inform, not frighten, and that’s what it does. There’s nary an anecdote or bit of personal recollection to be found in these pages, which makes this book distinctly different from the aforementioned guides. Sunderland is interested in the way one’s parenting style directly influences, on a psychological and emotional level, a child’s brain. It’s fascinating stuff, and any parent can benefit from Sunderland’s extensive research.

Though backed up by hard science, this accessible book is in part a how-to book, offering guidance on how to handle many types of parenting challenges. In the chapter Behaving Badly, Sunderland addresses not only what to do when children have tantrums but why children behave badly in the first place. This knowledge can equip parents with information that could help prevent bad behavior before it starts. The photos of children in various stages of different meltdowns (yes, there are different types of tantrums), will bring smiles of recognition to parents who’ve been caught in the maelstrom of a meltdown (and who hasn’t?).

The familiar DK format, textbook-like (in the best sense) with colorful, glossy pages and striking photos, makes this an easy book to flip through and read in fits and starts or during fits and tantrums. Katherine Wyrick is a writer in Little Rock and the mother of two.

On the other hand . . . maybe parenting is more of an exact science than previously realized. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland aims to show parents how current scientific research can help their child-rearing efforts. As Sunderland writes, It's both awesome and…
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Don’t let her list of credentials and accomplishments intimidate you. Sure, Jane Buckingham (author of The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life, based on her Style Network show of the same name) has it all: beauty, success, a fulfilling career and a happy family. But her writing style makes a mother feel like she’s talking to a funny, down-to-earth girlfriend. In The Modern Girl’s Guide to Motherhood, Buckingham strikes an empathetic tone as she offers frank and often funny advice on a variety of topics and practical solutions for common problems from birth to age four. A section on party ideas is particularly handy, succinct and right on the money. The author writes with flair and style on subjects ranging from the essential pre-baby shopping spree to the first play date. Her list of must-haves closely resembles Hobey’s in Working Gal’s Guide, proving that great parents think alike.

Trial and error is part of the process, but this informative, fun guide designated a Mod Mom Survival Guide will help make the trials less trying. Buckingham puts new mothers at ease with her insight into the oh-so-inexact science of parenting when she writes, You will make mistakes, and you will have regrets, but that’s just part of being a parent. Katherine Wyrick is a writer in Little Rock and the mother of two.

Don't let her list of credentials and accomplishments intimidate you. Sure, Jane Buckingham (author of The Modern Girl's Guide to Life, based on her Style Network show of the same name) has it all: beauty, success, a fulfilling career and a happy family. But her…
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To work, or not to work. That is the question for many a modern mama. In The Working Gal’s Guide to Babyville: Your Must-Have Manual for Life with Baby, author Paige Hobey avoids taking sides in this ongoing cultural debate, but offers a guide for gals who’ve made the choice to return to work post-baby. Hobey, a contributing writer for Parenting and Chicago Parent, has two young children of her own and has obviously made the transition successfully herself. She teams with New York-based pediatrician (and working mom) Dr. Allison Nied to give advice on basics such as newborn care, childcare options, sleeping and eating. Not only that, but Hobey gives mothers a detailed map for re-entry into the world of work. Peppered with anecdotes, this guide has a friendly, from-one-mom-to-another conversational tone. Quick Tips from Dr. Nied appear throughout and deliver bite-size morsels of wisdom from a pediatrician’s perspective.

There’s not a lot of new information here, but Working Gal’s Guide is chock-full of sound advice on a very timely topic. Most helpful are the appendixes in the back which include Baby-Sitter/Nanny Interview Questions and Contracts and Your New Baby Shopping List. Katherine Wyrick is a writer in Little Rock and the mother of two.

To work, or not to work. That is the question for many a modern mama. In The Working Gal's Guide to Babyville: Your Must-Have Manual for Life with Baby, author Paige Hobey avoids taking sides in this ongoing cultural debate, but offers a guide for…
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Getting good grades, playing sports and participating in school clubs are all part of the high school experience. But what happens when a teenager’s need to be at the top of the class becomes a perfectionist workaholism? Author Alexandra Robbins reports on the disturbing rise of overachiever culture in The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids.

Robbins’ compelling investigative journalism traces a year in the lives of several overachieving teens at Walt Whitman High School in Bethesda, Maryland, a public high school often touted as one of the best in the nation. These are teens who skip lunch to squeeze in one more Advanced Placement class, who continue to play competitive sports while seriously injured, and whose extreme stress leads to unnaturally thinning hair, panic attacks and eating disorders. Increasingly, the author shows, these teens are becoming the norm rather than the exception.

Robbins also explores the repercussions of an overachiever culture, from a spike in suicide rates among teens, chronic sleep deprivation, and abuse of Adderall and Ritalin by non-ADD teens to rampant cheating, loss of childhood, and academic competition starting as early as preschool. She finds irony in today’s hypertesting education systems that compromise the quality of education and in helicopter parents, so named for hovering over their children, who leave students so sheltered that they lack social skills and initiative.

The author concludes this eye-opener with suggestions for high schools, colleges, counselors, parents and students alike on ways to break the addictive, abusive cycle of extreme perfectionism. Angela Leeper is an educational consultant and freelance writer in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Getting good grades, playing sports and participating in school clubs are all part of the high school experience. But what happens when a teenager's need to be at the top of the class becomes a perfectionist workaholism? Author Alexandra Robbins reports on the disturbing rise…

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