I remember laying my first-born child down on our bed when we brought him home from the hospital. My husband and I stood looking down at this unpredictable, demanding little life force in awe and wonder. We had just changed his diaper for the umpteenth time, and he was already wet again. Was this normal? Was changing him so often doing more harm than good? We laughed at ourselves. All our preparations the brightly painted nursery, the baby books we had absorbed, the bottles, blankets and toys we had accumulated all our preparations had not quite prepared us for the bundle of need and energy before us. We soon realized that parenting was a never-ending series of judgment calls, and that from diapers to diplomas we’d be struggling with decisions about what was best for our child.

Fortunately, new parents, and long-time parents faced with new problems, need not feel completely alone in finding the best path to follow. Many sources of advice are available, including a huge array of parenting books that address the social context in which kids and parents find themselves today. BookPage has sorted through this season’s crop of parenting books and selected a few of the best.

A child psychologist and parent himself, James Garbarino delves beyond simple parenting predicaments and writes about the perplexing and even frightening dilemmas parents are confronted with in his new book, Parents Under Siege: Why You are the Solution, Not the Problem, in Your Child’s Life. Written with child advocate Claire Bedard, this book offers a sober, realistic look at the challenges of raising children in the modern world. The authors assert that the world of American parenting changed forever after the events at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, on April 20, 1999, when two students went on a shooting rampage that killed 12 of their fellow schoolmates and a teacher and then killed themselves. Garbarino recognizes that cookie-cutter strategies don’t work, but offers 10 tools to help parents become more acutely aware, more mindful, and more effective in dealing with growing children and adolescents. These tools include a periscope for Seeing the World Through the Eyes of Each Child’s Individual Temperament and a glue stick for Holding Together a Child’s World in Difficult Times. And what is a child’s world? Michael Thompson, Ph. D., and Catherine O’Neill Grace do a good job of depicting that venerable, vulnerable place in Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children. One of the most fascinating chapters is titled In the Jungle: The Power of the Group in the Lives of Children, which reveals the social hierarchies and underlying forces exerting pressure on children (and adults as well) in group situations. Without knowledge of these social forces, Thompson argues, we make the mistake of thinking that tragic events are driven solely by Ôbad kids’ or Ôgangs.’ He points out that human beings hunger for group identity and closeness, and that there are gangs of good kids in our schools too, driven to band together by the same needs and invisible yet powerful forces. Thompson is an ardent advocate of smaller schools and uses the last two chapters to outline what schools and parents can do to help ensure safe, nurturing environments where each child is acknowledged and affirmed on a daily basis. Interestingly, Thompson uses almost the same words to describe the values he would promote in teaching children good citizenship and good friendship empathy, responsibility, sharing, self-sacrifice, self-disclosure and faithfulness that Michele Bora, Ed. D., employs in her book, Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing. Her plan for raising good kids from ages 3 to 15 includes fostering the following list of values, each discussed in its own chapter: empathy, conscience, self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance and fairness. The slogan getting back to basics might well be dusted off and used to mean teaching the basic fundamentals of human decency instead of the fundamentals of reading, writing and arithmetic! This theme is expanded on in Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age by Dan Kindlon, Ph. D. Kindlon praises baby boomers for being emotionally close to their children and for raising kids who confide in their parents more than earlier generations, but he also finds them too indulgent. We give our kids too much, he says, and we demand too little of them. Like the authors above, Kindlon believes that raising honest, charitable, compassionate, and emotionally intelligent children should be a top priority. He advocates setting reasonable limits with clear consequences for overstepping them and advises parents to choose three basic rules that they are unflinchingly consistent in enforcing. But he maintains that the foundation for stricter parenting must be built on love, time and caring, and points to research that finds families who eat dinner together and openly communicate ideas and concerns produce healthier children both physically and mentally.

Of course, even if you follow all these guidelines, like many parents, you may find that your emotionally intelligent, tolerant, respectful 15-year-old will walk out the door one day to go to soccer practice and return home having changed into some bizarre character with a wild look in his eye, strange hair and stranger clothes. If so, you’ll need to read Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind, by Michael Bradley, Ed. D. Based on brain research which shows that teens do experience a temporary imbalance that causes some of their irrational behavior, this book will help you get through that maelstrom called adolescence. Still, there is no one book that can teach someone how to parent. Each child is different and brings individual challenges and joys to the task (and a few gray hairs to the head). But these books provide information, support and guidance that can help you build confidence in your parenting skills. The authors remind us of choices we can make and steps we can take to raise good, caring children (who will probably read parenting books so save them and pass them on!) and who will also become good, caring parents one day in their own right.

Linda Stankard is the mother of two she has the gray hairs to prove it and she is still honing her parenting skills after 22 years.

ducate yourself before school starts: books to help you help your child A new school year is a lot like New Year’s Day; it offers the chance to wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start, the chance to move ahead in new and productive ways and the chance to work harder and do better than you did the year before. If you’ve made a new school year “resolution” to help your child succeed in school this fall, you’ll need to do some homework. Here are five new books to put in your backpack before the first bell rings.

Michael Gurian’s Boys and Girls Learn Differently! explains the biological factors behind male/female learning, what these differences consist of at various developmental stages and most importantly, how this information can be used to build a student’s self-esteem and facilitate learning. Gurian points out that there are no hard and fast “gender rules,” but that brain-based research indicates certain tendencies. For example, he writes, “Boys tend to be deductive in their conceptualizations . . . girls tend to favor inductive thinking.” Gurian outlines what he calls the “ultimate” learning environment for both boys and girls from preschool through high school. He reminds us what it is like to be a sensitive nine-year-old or a turbulent teen and points out that by understanding what our children are going through at different stages in their lives, adults can more effectively help them achieve in school.

Of course, no matter how confident you are in your parenting skills, “letting go” of your child for the first time can be an event faced with trepidation and angst. If you or someone you know needs some comforting advice before the big day, an excellent book for your backpack is Ready, Start, School! Nurturing and Guiding Your Child Through Preschool and Kindergarten by Sandra F. Rief. This practical, “plain-language” handbook addresses topics of critical concern to parents with small children. Chapter titles include such subjects as “Enrolling Your Child in Kindergarten or Waiting Another Year” and “Protecting and Influencing Your Impressionable Young Child.” Rief also offers strategies for getting your little one off to a good start in the important areas of reading, writing and math, and advice about what to do if you suspect your child has a developmental delay or disability. If you need a little nurturing of your own as you prepare to launch your child into the academic world, this is a good book to have in your information arsenal.

Motivated Minds: Raising Children to Love Learning, by Deborah Stipek, Ph.

D., and Kathy Seal, focuses on children from babyhood through elementary school, but its underlying principle can be applied to learners of any age. The authors contend that people become self-motivated “when they feel capable and skilled, and confident of becoming more so.” They credit hard work and persistence more than intelligence or talent as prerequisites to achieving goals. They find that students who believe intelligence is “fixed” that you have to be “born smart” in order to excel academically or tackle a problem are less likely to be enthusiastic or self-motivated learners than children who believe they can overcome obstacles through their own effort and perseverance. This means allowing kids to learn early on that mistakes are not epitaphs of failure, but a normal and necessary part of learning.

But let’s face it: not every child is a happy, self-motivated, eager learner. If you’ve already tried every motivational technique under the sun to no avail and the approach of a new school year fills you with parental guilt and dread, Empowering Underachievers: How to Guide Failing Kids (8-18) to Personal Excellence is a must read. By “underachiever,” authors Peter A. Spevak, Ph.

D., and Maryann Karinch mean a student who has a problem with attitude not ability. Four types of underachievers Distant, Passive, Dependent and Defiant are defined, and methods for understanding, coping with and motivating each type are discussed in separate chapters. Spevak and Karinch encourage parents to be aware of their own attitudes about life and learning. They advocate setting a living example of the motto “life is what you make it.” In Guerilla Learning: How to Give Your Kids a Real Education With or Without School, Grace Llewellyn and Amy Silver focus on homeschooling, or education outside the traditional classroom, but they too contend that when adults embrace life with wonder and excitement, the children observing them as role models will be more likely to as well. Guerilla Learning means “taking responsibility for your own education” and supporting your children as they learn to do the same. With your own backpack full of new books to learn from, you’ll be ready and able to set the pace. Happy New Year! Linda Stankard has been a public school teacher and a homeschooling parent. She currently teaches at a community college in Tennessee.

Nurturing a child’s taste in reading reaps rich rewards Although reading is one of my favorite activities, my son doesn’t seem to share that obsession. He’ll be 10 this fall, and it’s taken me a good decade to begin to fathom his likes and dislikes. He loves Harry Potter and any good fiction that I read aloud but seldom picks up novels on his own. At first I thought this might be a problem, but now I’m coming to realize that he’s simply a nonfiction kind of a guy. He practically grabs each Sports Illustrated for Kids issue as it comes out of the mailbox, and this summer he’s devouring a series of books focusing on our 50 states. He loves to spread several of them out on the floor and compare geographical statistics. Looking into the population of Boise is hardly my cup of tea, but the important thing is, it’s his.

Discovering and developing a child’s taste in books requires some crafty strategizing by parents and teachers. A new trio of books focusing on kids and reading, each with a slightly different slant, can help in this pursuit. All three have given me plenty of hints, suggestions and reassurances about enticing my son with books as well as nurturing the literary likes and dislikes of his twin preschool sisters.

The smallest book in the bunch, Raising a Reader: A Mother’s Tale of Desperation and Delight (St. Martin’s, $19.95, 144 pages, ISBN 0312315341) by Jennie Nash is filled with the author’s own experiences with kids and books. A writer and mother of two girls, Nash has structured her book in short chapters, peppering each with sidebar suggestions and reading lists that have titles like “What Carlyn Turned to After Harry Potter” and “Books I Wish I Could Convince My Kids to Read.” Reading this book is like sitting down to an intimate lunch with a fun, passionate friend who loves both literature and children. Nash offers great suggestions like snuggling up in bed with kids and reading silently together along with interesting anecdotes, like how she once got so angry at her toddler’s mistreatment of books that she took them all away. Her writing is breezy and entertaining, so you’ll go through her tales in no time.

Next, pick up Under the Chinaberry Tree: Books and Inspirations for Mindful Parenting (Broadway, $14.95, 288 pages, ISBN 0767912020). Authors Ann Ruethling and Patti Pitcher have distilled multitudes of motherly wisdom into this wonderful volume. The perfect baby gift for a first-time parent, Under the Chinaberry Tree is divided into themed chapters, each of which begins with personal anecdotes and insights, then moves on to discussions of various books relevant to the theme. A chapter titled “Dailiness: Making It Through the Day” contains a useful list that has nothing to do with reading, “Tips for having enough energy to survive daily life with small children,” while the last chapter, “Surrendering the Day,” concludes with a list of beloved bedtime books. In between are all manner of wonderful discussions and reviews, with chapter headings such as “Smiles, Giggles and Belly Busters,” “Learning to Be Human” and “Growing Pains.” Unfamiliar choices as well as classics like Goodnight Moon and Make Way for Ducklings are included in the volume. If you’re in need of a book on a particular subject, or simply a list of wonderful, magical titles, you’re guaranteed to find them here. (The one major drawback is that the book focuses on titles for younger children, the 8 and under crowd). Keep Under the Chinaberry Tree close by it’s like having a children’s librarian at home.

By far the most comprehensive and multidisciplinary book in the trio, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading: For Ravenous and Reluctant Readers Alike Activities, Ideas, Inspiration, and Suggestions for Exploring Everything in the World through Books by EsmŽ Raji Codell is an invaluable reference volume for parents and teachers. Author of Educating EsmŽ: Diary of a Teacher’s First Year, Codell also runs a wonderful children’s literature web site called PlanetEsme.com. Bursting with ideas, books, connections and interconnections, not just for the younger set but for young adults as well, she’s like Mrs. Frizzle of the Magic School Bus Series. Divided into subject categories, with chapters on math and science books, travel, history and social studies titles (there’s even a chapter relating books to radio, TV and the movies), the volume offers more than just reviews and reading lists. Coddell includes tips on reading aloud, on helping kids overcome learning anxieties and on nurturing a child’s reading interests. There are plenty of hands-on activities and ideas to inspire kids to read and write. Whether you’re a teacher, homeschooler or innovative parent looking for fun, educational ideas, this book is an absolute must. There are no longwinded discussions here, just loads of creative, simply-put ideas. Coddell also lists 3,000 teacher-approved titles and answers inquiries in a special Q&andA column. No matter what kind of book your child likes, no matter what subject he or she wants to pursue, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading is bound to provide inspiration. Alice Cary writes from Groton, Massachusetts.

Nurturing a child’s taste in reading reaps rich rewards Although reading is one of my favorite activities, my son doesn’t seem to share that obsession. He’ll be 10 this fall, and it’s taken me a good decade to begin to fathom his likes and dislikes. He loves Harry Potter and any good fiction that I read aloud but seldom picks up novels on his own. At first I thought this might be a problem, but now I’m coming to realize that he’s simply a nonfiction kind of a guy. He practically grabs each Sports Illustrated for Kids issue as it comes out of the mailbox, and this summer he’s devouring a series of books focusing on our 50 states. He loves to spread several of them out on the floor and compare geographical statistics. Looking into the population of Boise is hardly my cup of tea, but the important thing is, it’s his.

Discovering and developing a child’s taste in books requires some crafty strategizing by parents and teachers. A new trio of books focusing on kids and reading, each with a slightly different slant, can help in this pursuit. All three have given me plenty of hints, suggestions and reassurances about enticing my son with books as well as nurturing the literary likes and dislikes of his twin preschool sisters.

The smallest book in the bunch, Raising a Reader: A Mother’s Tale of Desperation and Delight (St. Martin’s, $19.95, 144 pages, ISBN 0312315341) by Jennie Nash is filled with the author’s own experiences with kids and books. A writer and mother of two girls, Nash has structured her book in short chapters, peppering each with sidebar suggestions and reading lists that have titles like “What Carlyn Turned to After Harry Potter” and “Books I Wish I Could Convince My Kids to Read.” Reading this book is like sitting down to an intimate lunch with a fun, passionate friend who loves both literature and children. Nash offers great suggestions like snuggling up in bed with kids and reading silently together along with interesting anecdotes, like how she once got so angry at her toddler’s mistreatment of books that she took them all away. Her writing is breezy and entertaining, so you’ll go through her tales in no time.

Next, pick up Under the Chinaberry Tree: Books and Inspirations for Mindful Parenting. Authors Ann Ruethling and Patti Pitcher have distilled multitudes of motherly wisdom into this wonderful volume. The perfect baby gift for a first-time parent, Under the Chinaberry Tree is divided into themed chapters, each of which begins with personal anecdotes and insights, then moves on to discussions of various books relevant to the theme. A chapter titled “Dailiness: Making It Through the Day” contains a useful list that has nothing to do with reading, “Tips for having enough energy to survive daily life with small children,” while the last chapter, “Surrendering the Day,” concludes with a list of beloved bedtime books. In between are all manner of wonderful discussions and reviews, with chapter headings such as “Smiles, Giggles and Belly Busters,” “Learning to Be Human” and “Growing Pains.” Unfamiliar choices as well as classics like Goodnight Moon and Make Way for Ducklings are included in the volume. If you’re in need of a book on a particular subject, or simply a list of wonderful, magical titles, you’re guaranteed to find them here. (The one major drawback is that the book focuses on titles for younger children, the 8 and under crowd). Keep Under the Chinaberry Tree close by it’s like having a children’s librarian at home.

By far the most comprehensive and multidisciplinary book in the trio, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading: For Ravenous and Reluctant Readers Alike Activities, Ideas, Inspiration, and Suggestions for Exploring Everything in the World through Books (Algonquin, $18.95, 500 pages, ISBN 1565123085) by EsmŽ Raji Codell is an invaluable reference volume for parents and teachers. Author of Educating EsmŽ: Diary of a Teacher’s First Year, Codell also runs a wonderful children’s literature web site called PlanetEsme.com. Bursting with ideas, books, connections and interconnections, not just for the younger set but for young adults as well, she’s like Mrs. Frizzle of the Magic School Bus Series. Divided into subject categories, with chapters on math and science books, travel, history and social studies titles (there’s even a chapter relating books to radio, TV and the movies), the volume offers more than just reviews and reading lists. Coddell includes tips on reading aloud, on helping kids overcome learning anxieties and on nurturing a child’s reading interests. There are plenty of hands-on activities and ideas to inspire kids to read and write. Whether you’re a teacher, homeschooler or innovative parent looking for fun, educational ideas, this book is an absolute must. There are no longwinded discussions here, just loads of creative, simply-put ideas. Coddell also lists 3,000 teacher-approved titles and answers inquiries in a special Q&andA column. No matter what kind of book your child likes, no matter what subject he or she wants to pursue, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading is bound to provide inspiration. Alice Cary writes from Groton, Massachusetts.

<b>Life lessons for Father’s Day</b> This book explores another growing gap today the gap between what our fathers thought would make a boy a man, and what many of us now believe. <b>Coach: Lessons on the Game of Life</b> is a slim book, but no less powerful for that. Author Michael Lewis offers a fascinating study of an aging high school baseball coach and the enormous impact he had on the lives of the young men who were his charges. The story also explores the coach’s confrontation with a new generation of parents who disagree with his strict sometimes harsh approach. The questions raised here remain open: are discipline and exacting standards essential to growth? Is self-esteem really the recipe for a happy, successful life? <b>Coach</b> is a must-read for Dads and Moms alike, or for anyone who’s ever been challenged to be better than they thought they could be. <i>Howard Shirley is a son and a father.</i>

Nurturing a child’s taste in reading reaps rich rewards Although reading is one of my favorite activities, my son doesn’t seem to share that obsession. He’ll be 10 this fall, and it’s taken me a good decade to begin to fathom his likes and dislikes. He loves Harry Potter and any good fiction that I read aloud but seldom picks up novels on his own. At first I thought this might be a problem, but now I’m coming to realize that he’s simply a nonfiction kind of a guy. He practically grabs each Sports Illustrated for Kids issue as it comes out of the mailbox, and this summer he’s devouring a series of books focusing on our 50 states. He loves to spread several of them out on the floor and compare geographical statistics. Looking into the population of Boise is hardly my cup of tea, but the important thing is, it’s his.

Discovering and developing a child’s taste in books requires some crafty strategizing by parents and teachers. A new trio of books focusing on kids and reading, each with a slightly different slant, can help in this pursuit. All three have given me plenty of hints, suggestions and reassurances about enticing my son with books as well as nurturing the literary likes and dislikes of his twin preschool sisters.

The smallest book in the bunch, Raising a Reader: A Mother’s Tale of Desperation and Delight by Jennie Nash is filled with the author’s own experiences with kids and books. A writer and mother of two girls, Nash has structured her book in short chapters, peppering each with sidebar suggestions and reading lists that have titles like “What Carlyn Turned to After Harry Potter” and “Books I Wish I Could Convince My Kids to Read.” Reading this book is like sitting down to an intimate lunch with a fun, passionate friend who loves both literature and children. Nash offers great suggestions like snuggling up in bed with kids and reading silently together along with interesting anecdotes, like how she once got so angry at her toddler’s mistreatment of books that she took them all away. Her writing is breezy and entertaining, so you’ll go through her tales in no time.

Next, pick up Under the Chinaberry Tree: Books and Inspirations for Mindful Parenting (Broadway, $14.95, 288 pages, ISBN 0767912020). Authors Ann Ruethling and Patti Pitcher have distilled multitudes of motherly wisdom into this wonderful volume. The perfect baby gift for a first-time parent, Under the Chinaberry Tree is divided into themed chapters, each of which begins with personal anecdotes and insights, then moves on to discussions of various books relevant to the theme. A chapter titled “Dailiness: Making It Through the Day” contains a useful list that has nothing to do with reading, “Tips for having enough energy to survive daily life with small children,” while the last chapter, “Surrendering the Day,” concludes with a list of beloved bedtime books. In between are all manner of wonderful discussions and reviews, with chapter headings such as “Smiles, Giggles and Belly Busters,” “Learning to Be Human” and “Growing Pains.” Unfamiliar choices as well as classics like Goodnight Moon and Make Way for Ducklings are included in the volume. If you’re in need of a book on a particular subject, or simply a list of wonderful, magical titles, you’re guaranteed to find them here. (The one major drawback is that the book focuses on titles for younger children, the 8 and under crowd). Keep Under the Chinaberry Tree close by it’s like having a children’s librarian at home.

By far the most comprehensive and multidisciplinary book in the trio, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading: For Ravenous and Reluctant Readers Alike Activities, Ideas, Inspiration, and Suggestions for Exploring Everything in the World through Books (Algonquin, $18.95, 500 pages, ISBN 1565123085) by EsmŽ Raji Codell is an invaluable reference volume for parents and teachers. Author of Educating EsmŽ: Diary of a Teacher’s First Year, Codell also runs a wonderful children’s literature web site called PlanetEsme.com. Bursting with ideas, books, connections and interconnections, not just for the younger set but for young adults as well, she’s like Mrs. Frizzle of the Magic School Bus Series. Divided into subject categories, with chapters on math and science books, travel, history and social studies titles (there’s even a chapter relating books to radio, TV and the movies), the volume offers more than just reviews and reading lists. Coddell includes tips on reading aloud, on helping kids overcome learning anxieties and on nurturing a child’s reading interests. There are plenty of hands-on activities and ideas to inspire kids to read and write. Whether you’re a teacher, homeschooler or innovative parent looking for fun, educational ideas, this book is an absolute must. There are no longwinded discussions here, just loads of creative, simply-put ideas. Coddell also lists 3,000 teacher-approved titles and answers inquiries in a special Q&andA column. No matter what kind of book your child likes, no matter what subject he or she wants to pursue, How to Get Your Child to Love Reading is bound to provide inspiration. Alice Cary writes from Groton, Massachusetts.

Take charge with advice geared to help you survive raising children Snakes, public speaking, flying, death: many people cite one of these as their greatest fear, but obviously parenting was not listed among the choices on their questionnaires. Nothing could be more intimidating, more hair-raising than the prospect of being handed a helpless infant and expected to nurture it into a capable adult. Cynthia L. Copeland understands the daunting quality of the task at hand. Her light-hearted yet heart-lifting book, The Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a New Mom’s First Year (Workman, $8.95, 256 pages, ISBN 0761128603) is for moms, by a mom and at under $10, it’s a bargain. Armed with this book and what this mother of three identifies as the essential ingredient for surviving motherhood a healthy sense of humor first-timers can face everything from discomfiting body changes to the breast vs. bottle dilemma.

Along with dirty-diaper disasters, laughter-inducing sections include “Projecting the Future,” which compares a proud mother’s wishful thinking about her baby’s traits to their more likely outcomes. When your baby “is not afraid of getting shots at the pediatrician’s office,” she writes, you are apt to envision the child becoming a world-famous humanitarian like Dr. Jonas Salk. But Coleman injects her own needle of reality, humorously predicting that the child will more likely become a tattoo artist in Atlantic City.

Mingled with her “been there, done that, and you can too” humor (and smile-invoking illustrations) is some sage advice. Copeland suggests using an empty box, the ground or “indestructible daddy” to entertain baby, rather than store-bought, expensive paraphernalia. And she wisely warns new moms about the “All-Baby, All-the-Time” trap. “Sweet newborns turn into cranky two-year-olds who become close to intolerable 13-year-olds,” she cautions. “But your husband will always be the same good guy who thinks you have a cute butt and makes the world’s best lasagna.” No matter how well you survive that first year, however, issues of discipline will surface along with your child’s first utterance of defiance. (Typically, the word “NO.”) No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them (Jossey-Bass, $14.95, 352 pages, ISBN 0787966177), by Michele Borba Ed.

D., offers an in-depth examination of 38 specific behaviors, from shyness to stealing, and step-by-step instructions on how to modify them. Each chapter contains strategies and tips, a behavior makeover plan, and a place to record your family’s progress. If you are the mother of a daughter approaching her teens, you’ll appreciate a new book written specifically for this troublesome stage, When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter’s Adolescence so You Don’t Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You (Warner, $12.95, 208 pages, ISBN 0446679518) by Susan Borowitz. The author acknowledges that the friction that develops between mothers and their maturing daughters is a natural outgrowth of the daughter’s need to create her own identity. The trick for mothers is to stay connected during this tumultuous time, and Borowitz offers a wealth of ways to keep the lines of communication open. “Kids are at their most vulnerable when they go to bed and therefore are much more inclined to be open with you,” she writes, explaining that her nighttime talks with her own teenage daughter proved among the most “fruitful and connecting” during those difficult years. Finally, we’ll close with a book we hope you don’t need, but if the “D” word has crept into your life, this volume may be the most important one in our lineup. What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, is a comprehensive guide for helping ease the effects of divorce. Wallerstein is the author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a bestseller that delved into the long-term effects of divorce on children. In What About the Kids? she addresses the problems that occur at different stages of the breakup and different ages of the affected children. Wallerstein doesn’t flinch in tackling painful subjects, offering advice from her many years of counseling families. “Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking,” she writes. “Much of the time it’s like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you’re still headed for the top or if you’re stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder it’s like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control.” Parenting may be the most frightening, difficult thing you ever do, but you should be able to survive it and live to enjoy the fruits of your labor with guidance from these parenting veterans. Linda Stankard, a writer in New York, is a survivor of parenting.

<b>Life lessons for Father’s Day</b> <b>Big Shoes: In Celebration of Dads and Fatherhood</b> by Al Roker and Friends offers a charming compilation of memories and observations from celebrities, writers, athletes and more. Contribu-tors from Jimmy Buffet to Nina Totenberg share their experiences of their fathers and their thoughts on the importance and meaning of fatherhood. There are a few weak notes, but the majority of the stories are both warm and heartwarming, while others touch the soul with a bittersweet grace. <i>Howard Shirley is a son and a father.</i>

Take charge with advice geared to help you survive raising children Snakes, public speaking, flying, death: many people cite one of these as their greatest fear, but obviously parenting was not listed among the choices on their questionnaires. Nothing could be more intimidating, more hair-raising than the prospect of being handed a helpless infant and expected to nurture it into a capable adult. Cynthia L. Copeland understands the daunting quality of the task at hand. Her light-hearted yet heart-lifting book, The Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a New Mom’s First Year (Workman, $8.95, 256 pages, ISBN 0761128603) is for moms, by a mom and at under $10, it’s a bargain. Armed with this book and what this mother of three identifies as the essential ingredient for surviving motherhood a healthy sense of humor first-timers can face everything from discomfiting body changes to the breast vs. bottle dilemma.

Along with dirty-diaper disasters, laughter-inducing sections include “Projecting the Future,” which compares a proud mother’s wishful thinking about her baby’s traits to their more likely outcomes. When your baby “is not afraid of getting shots at the pediatrician’s office,” she writes, you are apt to envision the child becoming a world-famous humanitarian like Dr. Jonas Salk. But Coleman injects her own needle of reality, humorously predicting that the child will more likely become a tattoo artist in Atlantic City.

Mingled with her “been there, done that, and you can too” humor (and smile-invoking illustrations) is some sage advice. Copeland suggests using an empty box, the ground or “indestructible daddy” to entertain baby, rather than store-bought, expensive paraphernalia. And she wisely warns new moms about the “All-Baby, All-the-Time” trap. “Sweet newborns turn into cranky two-year-olds who become close to intolerable 13-year-olds,” she cautions. “But your husband will always be the same good guy who thinks you have a cute butt and makes the world’s best lasagna.” No matter how well you survive that first year, however, issues of discipline will surface along with your child’s first utterance of defiance. (Typically, the word “NO.”) No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them (Jossey-Bass, $14.95, 352 pages, ISBN 0787966177), by Michele Borba Ed.

D., offers an in-depth examination of 38 specific behaviors, from shyness to stealing, and step-by-step instructions on how to modify them. Each chapter contains strategies and tips, a behavior makeover plan, and a place to record your family’s progress. If you are the mother of a daughter approaching her teens, you’ll appreciate a new book written specifically for this troublesome stage, When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter’s Adolescence so You Don’t Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You by Susan Borowitz. The author acknowledges that the friction that develops between mothers and their maturing daughters is a natural outgrowth of the daughter’s need to create her own identity. The trick for mothers is to stay connected during this tumultuous time, and Borowitz offers a wealth of ways to keep the lines of communication open. “Kids are at their most vulnerable when they go to bed and therefore are much more inclined to be open with you,” she writes, explaining that her nighttime talks with her own teenage daughter proved among the most “fruitful and connecting” during those difficult years. Finally, we’ll close with a book we hope you don’t need, but if the “D” word has crept into your life, this volume may be the most important one in our lineup. What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce (Hyperion, $23.95, 400 pages, ISBN 0786868651), by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, is a comprehensive guide for helping ease the effects of divorce. Wallerstein is the author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a bestseller that delved into the long-term effects of divorce on children. In What About the Kids? she addresses the problems that occur at different stages of the breakup and different ages of the affected children. Wallerstein doesn’t flinch in tackling painful subjects, offering advice from her many years of counseling families. “Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking,” she writes. “Much of the time it’s like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you’re still headed for the top or if you’re stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder it’s like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control.” Parenting may be the most frightening, difficult thing you ever do, but you should be able to survive it and live to enjoy the fruits of your labor with guidance from these parenting veterans. Linda Stankard, a writer in New York, is a survivor of parenting.

Take charge with advice geared to help you survive raising children Snakes, public speaking, flying, death: many people cite one of these as their greatest fear, but obviously parenting was not listed among the choices on their questionnaires. Nothing could be more intimidating, more hair-raising than the prospect of being handed a helpless infant and expected to nurture it into a capable adult. Cynthia L. Copeland understands the daunting quality of the task at hand. Her light-hearted yet heart-lifting book, The Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a New Mom’s First Year (Workman, $8.95, 256 pages, ISBN 0761128603) is for moms, by a mom and at under $10, it’s a bargain. Armed with this book and what this mother of three identifies as the essential ingredient for surviving motherhood a healthy sense of humor first-timers can face everything from discomfiting body changes to the breast vs. bottle dilemma.

Along with dirty-diaper disasters, laughter-inducing sections include “Projecting the Future,” which compares a proud mother’s wishful thinking about her baby’s traits to their more likely outcomes. When your baby “is not afraid of getting shots at the pediatrician’s office,” she writes, you are apt to envision the child becoming a world-famous humanitarian like Dr. Jonas Salk. But Coleman injects her own needle of reality, humorously predicting that the child will more likely become a tattoo artist in Atlantic City.

Mingled with her “been there, done that, and you can too” humor (and smile-invoking illustrations) is some sage advice. Copeland suggests using an empty box, the ground or “indestructible daddy” to entertain baby, rather than store-bought, expensive paraphernalia. And she wisely warns new moms about the “All-Baby, All-the-Time” trap. “Sweet newborns turn into cranky two-year-olds who become close to intolerable 13-year-olds,” she cautions. “But your husband will always be the same good guy who thinks you have a cute butt and makes the world’s best lasagna.” No matter how well you survive that first year, however, issues of discipline will surface along with your child’s first utterance of defiance. (Typically, the word “NO.”) No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them, by Michele Borba Ed.

D., offers an in-depth examination of 38 specific behaviors, from shyness to stealing, and step-by-step instructions on how to modify them. Each chapter contains strategies and tips, a behavior makeover plan, and a place to record your family’s progress. If you are the mother of a daughter approaching her teens, you’ll appreciate a new book written specifically for this troublesome stage, When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter’s Adolescence so You Don’t Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You (Warner, $12.95, 208 pages, ISBN 0446679518) by Susan Borowitz. The author acknowledges that the friction that develops between mothers and their maturing daughters is a natural outgrowth of the daughter’s need to create her own identity. The trick for mothers is to stay connected during this tumultuous time, and Borowitz offers a wealth of ways to keep the lines of communication open. “Kids are at their most vulnerable when they go to bed and therefore are much more inclined to be open with you,” she writes, explaining that her nighttime talks with her own teenage daughter proved among the most “fruitful and connecting” during those difficult years. Finally, we’ll close with a book we hope you don’t need, but if the “D” word has crept into your life, this volume may be the most important one in our lineup. What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce (Hyperion, $23.95, 400 pages, ISBN 0786868651), by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, is a comprehensive guide for helping ease the effects of divorce. Wallerstein is the author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a bestseller that delved into the long-term effects of divorce on children. In What About the Kids? she addresses the problems that occur at different stages of the breakup and different ages of the affected children. Wallerstein doesn’t flinch in tackling painful subjects, offering advice from her many years of counseling families. “Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking,” she writes. “Much of the time it’s like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you’re still headed for the top or if you’re stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder it’s like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control.” Parenting may be the most frightening, difficult thing you ever do, but you should be able to survive it and live to enjoy the fruits of your labor with guidance from these parenting veterans. Linda Stankard, a writer in New York, is a survivor of parenting.

Take charge with advice geared to help you survive raising children Snakes, public speaking, flying, death: many people cite one of these as their greatest fear, but obviously parenting was not listed among the choices on their questionnaires. Nothing could be more intimidating, more hair-raising than the prospect of being handed a helpless infant and expected to nurture it into a capable adult. Cynthia L. Copeland understands the daunting quality of the task at hand. Her light-hearted yet heart-lifting book, The Diaper Diaries: The Real Poop on a New Mom’s First Year is for moms, by a mom and at under $10, it’s a bargain. Armed with this book and what this mother of three identifies as the essential ingredient for surviving motherhood a healthy sense of humor first-timers can face everything from discomfiting body changes to the breast vs. bottle dilemma.

Along with dirty-diaper disasters, laughter-inducing sections include “Projecting the Future,” which compares a proud mother’s wishful thinking about her baby’s traits to their more likely outcomes. When your baby “is not afraid of getting shots at the pediatrician’s office,” she writes, you are apt to envision the child becoming a world-famous humanitarian like Dr. Jonas Salk. But Coleman injects her own needle of reality, humorously predicting that the child will more likely become a tattoo artist in Atlantic City.

Mingled with her “been there, done that, and you can too” humor (and smile-invoking illustrations) is some sage advice. Copeland suggests using an empty box, the ground or “indestructible daddy” to entertain baby, rather than store-bought, expensive paraphernalia. And she wisely warns new moms about the “All-Baby, All-the-Time” trap. “Sweet newborns turn into cranky two-year-olds who become close to intolerable 13-year-olds,” she cautions. “But your husband will always be the same good guy who thinks you have a cute butt and makes the world’s best lasagna.” No matter how well you survive that first year, however, issues of discipline will surface along with your child’s first utterance of defiance. (Typically, the word “NO.”) No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them (Jossey-Bass, $14.95, 352 pages, ISBN 0787966177), by Michele Borba Ed.

D., offers an in-depth examination of 38 specific behaviors, from shyness to stealing, and step-by-step instructions on how to modify them. Each chapter contains strategies and tips, a behavior makeover plan, and a place to record your family’s progress. If you are the mother of a daughter approaching her teens, you’ll appreciate a new book written specifically for this troublesome stage, When We’re in Public, Pretend You Don’t Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter’s Adolescence so You Don’t Look Like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You (Warner, $12.95, 208 pages, ISBN 0446679518) by Susan Borowitz. The author acknowledges that the friction that develops between mothers and their maturing daughters is a natural outgrowth of the daughter’s need to create her own identity. The trick for mothers is to stay connected during this tumultuous time, and Borowitz offers a wealth of ways to keep the lines of communication open. “Kids are at their most vulnerable when they go to bed and therefore are much more inclined to be open with you,” she writes, explaining that her nighttime talks with her own teenage daughter proved among the most “fruitful and connecting” during those difficult years. Finally, we’ll close with a book we hope you don’t need, but if the “D” word has crept into your life, this volume may be the most important one in our lineup. What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce (Hyperion, $23.95, 400 pages, ISBN 0786868651), by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, is a comprehensive guide for helping ease the effects of divorce. Wallerstein is the author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a bestseller that delved into the long-term effects of divorce on children. In What About the Kids? she addresses the problems that occur at different stages of the breakup and different ages of the affected children. Wallerstein doesn’t flinch in tackling painful subjects, offering advice from her many years of counseling families. “Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking,” she writes. “Much of the time it’s like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you’re still headed for the top or if you’re stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder it’s like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control.” Parenting may be the most frightening, difficult thing you ever do, but you should be able to survive it and live to enjoy the fruits of your labor with guidance from these parenting veterans. Linda Stankard, a writer in New York, is a survivor of parenting.