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Foreverland

Heather Havrilesky delivers a funny, forthright chronicle of modern wifehood in Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. As she recounts in the book, Havrilesky met and married her professor-husband, Bill, while in her mid-30s, and 15 years of marriage have disabused her of any fairy-tale notions about the institution. “A divine catastrophe” is how she now views the union. “Having someone by your side every minute of your life sounds so romantic before he’s actually there, making noises, emitting smells, undoing what you’ve just done,” she writes.

In Foreverland, Havrilesky considers the ups and downs of married life, writing with candor about its undeviating dullness and surprising upsides, about trading the high fire of early passion for the slow burn of long-term love. Havrilesky, a journalist whose beloved “Ask Polly” advice column now appears on Substack, has a gift for highlighting moments of comedy and absurdity in the midst of major life milestones. With Bill, she starts a family, buys a house in the Los Angeles suburbs and endures the COVID-19 lockdown, learning along the way to savor the mixed blessings of marriage. “It’s the hardest thing to do, sometimes: just to stand still and be loved,” she writes. Whether single or spoken for, readers are sure to fall for Havrilesky’s charming memoir.

From Hollywood With Love

Scott Meslow’s From Hollywood With Love: The Rise and Fall (and Rise Again) of the Romantic Comedy pays tribute to a seemingly imperishable cinematic category. The romantic comedy is something of a hybrid, a mashup of moods and emotions that hold forth the promise of a happy ending. In his delightful homage to the genre, Meslow notes that a romantic comedy’s “goal is to make you laugh at least as much as the goal is to make you cry.” Through an insightful survey of modern rom-com classics, Meslow explores the durability of the form, which peaked in popularity during the 1990s and early 2000s. Along the way, he looks at the careers of some of the category’s standout stars, including Meg Ryan, Hugh Grant, Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith.

Meslow writes with sparkle and wit, and in recounting three decades of rom-com history, he brings fresh perspectives to old favorites like When Harry Met Sally, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Waiting to Exhale. Meslow also takes stock of the genre’s recent resurgence, with a new generation of movies cropping up on Netflix and other streaming platforms. As From Hollywood With Love proves, our love for the romantic comedy is here to stay.

If you aren’t exactly feeling the love this Valentine’s Day, check out Florence Williams’ ‘Heartbreak.’

Black Love Matters

For the anthology Black Love Matters: Real Talk on Romance, Being Seen, and Happily Ever Afters, editor Jessica P. Pryde enlisted a stellar lineup of essayists to share their perspectives on Black love and the ways it’s portrayed in popular media. Pryde is a librarian, contributing editor at Book Riot and die-hard romance fan who has long been aware of the lack of romantic narratives featuring Black protagonists and blissful endings. As she notes in the book’s introduction, more than 90% of the titles produced by mainstream publishers in the romance category don’t focus on Black people’s experiences.

In “Finding Queer Black Women in Romance. Finding Bits and Pieces of Me,” novelist Nicole M. Jackson writes about looking for relatable figures in the romance genre. Author Piper Huguley explores the expectations and stereotypes surrounding Black leading men in her essay “In Search of the Black Historical Hottie Hero.” Other authors, scholars and critics who contributed to the anthology include Julie Moody-Freeman, Da’Shaun L. Harrison, Allie Parker and Carole V. Bell (who’s also a BookPage contributor). From astute cultural critiques to introspective first-person essays, these 14 pieces form a revealing mosaic that will fundamentally change how readers engage with love stories.

Conversations on Love

Love is the one thing most of us say we can’t do without, yet putting it into action—whether as a sibling, spouse or friend—can be one of life’s greatest tests. Journalist Natasha Lunn helps readers make sense of this important emotion in Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings. An offshoot of her popular Conversations on Love email newsletter, Lunn’s book features candid Q&As with authors and experts who provide guidance on the subject of love, including suggestions about how to find it, cultivate it and keep it alive.

Lunn’s roster of interviewees includes writer Roxane Gay, psychotherapist Susie Orbach and author Juno Dawson. While her book tackles topics that will resonate with committed couples, such as dealing with infidelity and working to maintain passion while raising kids, Conversations on Love also covers issues outside the realm of romance, such as sibling dynamics, self-love, identity and strategies for coping with the loss of a loved one. “Just as we change, our challenges in love change too,” Lunn writes. Her book is a thoughtful guide to meeting those challenges—and getting more love out of life.

If you’re searching for clarity regarding the elusive emotion of love (and who isn’t?), start with these four perceptive nonfiction books.
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Wonderfully chaotic. This is how the authors of Mom Central generously describe the lives of typical parents. The first adjective is occasionally up for debate, but the second one is a perennially accurate description. Mom Central is a resource designed to create order from chaos. Bless them.

Lists are good, but lists only work when they can be found. Mom Central is essentially a books of lists just about every list a family will ever need permanently organized, color-coded, transportable, and updatable.

The authors created Mom Central when the disparity between business management and family management became all too frustratingly apparent. They sought to adapt the “organizational structure and proactive management systems” of their professional lives to the needs of their home lives. The most crucial material comes first: “Emergency and Medical.” Caregivers have immediate access to all pertinent information: family names and addresses; phone numbers for police, poison control, neighbors, pediatricians, etc. It includes “Permission to Treat” forms and charts for past and present medications and vaccinations.

Other headings and some of their highlights include “Children ∧ Family” (back-to-school shopping, homework planning, goal-setting); “Child Care” (finding a nanny, selecting a Day Care, information for sitters); “Grown Ups” (family history, safe deposit box, daily to-do list, birthdays, shopping lists); “Entertaining” (child and adult party planners, holidays); “Home, Car ∧ Pet” (capital improvements and repairs, safety and maintenance, warranty records, car information, pet care while away, whom to contact for utilities and services); “Travel” (planning for day trips and longer outings, packing).

Don’t let the number of headings be intimidating: The authors stress that Mom Central should help relieve stress. It’s designed to accommodate individual needs and personal organizational thresholds. Even if only one or two sections are used, life could be immeasurably simplified. Who couldn’t use a little more order and a little less chaos? By the way, Mom Central is an act of charity itself, but the authors take it a step further and donate part of the proceeds to charities benefiting women and children. Reviewed by Joanna Brichetto.

Wonderfully chaotic. This is how the authors of Mom Central generously describe the lives of typical parents. The first adjective is occasionally up for debate, but the second one is a perennially accurate description. Mom Central is a resource designed to create order from chaos.…

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Television’s much-awarded broadcast reporter Cokie Roberts might intimidate us ordinary souls if she weren’t so personal, warm, and insightful. Her book, We Are Our Mothers’ Daughters part memoir, part social history demonstrates these qualities. Roberts’s title makes her chief point: no matter how political and social changes revise women’s lives, women’s nature remains the same.

“Women,” she says, “have always been multiple-minded.” Rather than regarding multiple-mindedness as a handicap, Roberts sees it as a strength. Women by necessity, she claims, will always focus on many things at once, jobs and family, professional life and personal life. Roberts, herself a highly successful professional woman, notes that “women are connected throughout time and regardless of place.” Our Mothers’ Daughters develops this theme in 13 chapters organized around women’s various roles. The anecdote-filled chapters illustrate women’s toughness, tenderness, and flexibility at home as well as in more public arenas. Chapters on “Sister,” “Aunt,” “Wife,” and “Mother/Daughter” draw on Roberts’s personal life. Daughter of Hale Boggs, the Louisiana congressman lost in a plane crash in Alaska, and Lindy Boggs, herself a member of Congress and now Ambassador to the Vatican, Cokie says “Politics is the family business.” “Sister,” a moving prose elegy, deals with Roberts’s sister Barbara’s death from cancer. “Mother/Daughter” praises her mother’s strength, wisdom, good sense, and sense of humor. When Roberts’s children were young, Grandma Lindy lived on Bourbon Street. “I used to jokingly chant [to my kids], ÔOver the hills and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go,’ as we tripped our way past the denizens of that naughty neighborhood.” “Aunt” registers appreciation of the network of southern women Roberts grew up in, while “Friend” expresses appreciation for the network of professional women that fostered Roberts’s career. For women’s more public roles, Roberts draws on experiences gleaned from her years as a reporter. “Politician” points out the importance of women being active in politics despite the difficult, sometimes tawdry, world politicians inhabit. “Consumer Advocate” profiles Esther Peterson, the woman responsible for truth-in-advertising package labeling. “First-Class Mechanic” chronicles the inspiring story of Eva Oliver of Baton Rouge, a mother who got off welfare and now counsels other women. “Civil Rights Activist” traces the career of 85-year-old Dorothy Height, President of the National Council of Negro Women. Roberts has unearthed fascinating tales of women in business, women in the service, women in reporting. She weaves them together in clear, informal prose well-spiked with her own warm personality.

Reviewed by Joanne Lewis Sears.

Television's much-awarded broadcast reporter Cokie Roberts might intimidate us ordinary souls if she weren't so personal, warm, and insightful. Her book, We Are Our Mothers' Daughters part memoir, part social history demonstrates these qualities. Roberts's title makes her chief point: no matter how political and…
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Aunt Agnes’s daughter Nadine married your former neighbor’s son Neville recently. Nadine and Neville, the ambitious newlyweds, are hosting a housewarming party and you’re invited. What housewarming gift comes in a variety of colors, matches every period piece in every room, and can accentuate even the most sparse decor? Why, books, of course! Nadine had to part with Fluffy, her pampered, prize-winning Persian, due to Neville’s allergies. To help ease the pain caused by Fluffy’s absence, why not give her a copy of Cat: Wild Cats and Pampered Pets (Watson Guptill, $19.95, 0823005712). Author Andrew Edney, who is also a veterinarian, includes more than 300 depictions of felines slinking, sleeping, socializing, and so much more! This 400-page oblong book offers a unique addition to a cat lover’s coffee table or library.

What kind of gift is given away, but meant to be returned? Tommy Nelson, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc., has developed Grandmother’s Memories to Her Grandchild ($12.99, 084995911X) and Grandfather’s Memories to His Grandchild ($12.99, 0849959128) for just such a purpose. These make wonderful keepsakes, especially when completed and given away. Set in journal format against a backdrop of renowned artist Thomas Kinkade’s breathtaking landscapes, headings for each section include Me, My Hometown, Early School Years, My First Romance, etc. Each section is broken into segments, with titles like A time I had to stand up for my beliefs, or Something I want you to remember about me when you are grown up, and space is provided for folks to write their responses. Grandparents with multiple grandchildren, beware you may unwrap several of these! Nadine’s recollections from her wedding are, no doubt, still fresh on her mind. Why not encourage her to laugh about them with This Is Your Day! But Everybody Has An Opinion? Perfect for newlywed brides or brides-to-be, author Lisa K. Weiss offers humorous tidbits of pre- and post-wedding truisms. Victoria Roberts’s cartoony illustrations complement tongue-in-cheek advice cliches, such as Now that you’re married, it will be easy to fine-tune his wardrobe, and Including your pets in the ceremony can add a warm, cozy touch. A definite garnish to the Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt books, it is a perfect gift for those who tend to take life (and life’s events) too seriously.

Anne Boleyn is an unlikely target for the tabloids. Chances are even slimmer for a tell-all book about Guy de Maupassant. London writer Mark Bryant, however, has compiled all sorts of entertaining facts about 200 well-known figures in Private Lives: Curious Facts About the Famous and Infamous (Cassell/Sterling Publications, $29.95, 0304343153). For example, did you know that Queen Elizabeth I drank beer for breakfast? Or that Walt Disney wasn’t the first person to draw Mickey Mouse? Private Lives is also available in paperback ($14.95, 0304349232), and makes a wonderful gift for trivia buffs and researchers.

Who said, It is more blessed to give than to receive ? (Well, okay, besides your Gift Gallery helpers!) The quote actually originated with Aristotle but has been paraphrased by others, including Jesus. Anyone who loves to quote, but has difficulty remembering whom they are quoting, will appreciate Random House’s all-new Webster’s Quotationary ($45, 0679448500). Author Leonard Roy Frank has assembled over 20,000 quotations by subject, but makes it easy to locate a quote through cross-referencing as well. Varied profundities from Plato to Oprah make this one of the most comprehensive reference books around. You may want to study it ahead of time and wow Nadine and Neville’s party guests!

Aunt Agnes's daughter Nadine married your former neighbor's son Neville recently. Nadine and Neville, the ambitious newlyweds, are hosting a housewarming party and you're invited. What housewarming gift comes in a variety of colors, matches every period piece in every room, and can accentuate even…
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As a person growing old more rapidly than he cares to contemplate, I can tell you that no one in his youth or even early middle age thinks he will ever get old. It is a beneficial trick life plays on us, because if we comprehended then what awaits us, we would abandon everything out of shock. Once we get there, or close to there, however, it doesn’t matter; it is all right; the intervening years have cushioned the shock.

Even the sight of friends and relatives in their old age does not convince us. To help us understand this realm that we think we will never inhabit, Mary Pipher, a clinical psychologist and author of Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, has written Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders (Simon ∧ Schuster Audio, $18, 0671044753).

Another Country is an exceptionally helpful and instructive book, written in a matching workmanlike style. Stories of people confronting old age, either their own or others’, form its heart, though one that at times tends to bleed. The stories come from interviews and therapy sessions that Pipher, who is 50 and lives in Nebraska, held with mostly rural Midwesterners, both black and white, in their seventies, eighties, and nineties, and in all stages and conditions of life poor, healthy, sick, wealthy.

I wanted to learn about our community-based country that has almost vanished, and also to understand the country of old age, Pipher writes. Because, she says a few pages later, as a nation, we are not organized in a way that makes aging easy. Indeed we are not. The twin topics of Pipher’s book are the segregation of the young from the old and the consequent difficulties this segregation makes for the elderly and those who care for them.

The young, of course, have always done things differently from the old, but Pipher suggests, and I think rightly, that perhaps never before have the two generations been so far removed in body, mind, and spirit, as they are in America today, to the immeasurable detriment of both.

The author and the people she talks to have many examples of the generational differences, but to me the most telling remark is made early on in the book.

Our parents’ generation was pre-irony, Pipher writes. Irony implies a distance between one’s words and one’s world, a cool remove that is a late-century phenomenon . . . [Freud] gave my generation the notion that underneath one idea is another, that behind our surface behavior is a different motive . . . But many people older than a certain age grew up believing that the surface is all there is. This may make it sound as if the young are clever and the elderly gullible, but her implication seems to be rather that irony has introduced a slickness inimical to plain and forthright dealing. People born early in the century, she writes, are the last Americans to grow up in a world in which all behavior mattered. Her great concern is that we get together ( communities keep people healthy; without community there is no morality ), and in her suggestions for achieving this, the advantage falls to the practices of our elders (a word she prefers to elderly ). In nothing is this more true than in the matter of physical closeness.

The book discusses many other significant subjects: the importance of the grandparent/grandchild relationship; the profound differences between the young-old (in their sixties and seventies) and the old-old (eighties and nineties); the assertion that rest homes are the concrete embodiment of failed social and cultural policies toward the old. As for the elders themselves, I could have composed a column of their comments alone and produced a review of this book at least as good as the dithyramb above. But for a parting shot I’ll limit myself to this, from Bette Davis, because it captures both the central difficulty of the aged the waning of powers and the qualities, like resiliency and fortitude, they summon to deal with it: Old age, La Belle Davis said, isn’t for sissies. Roger Miller is a freelance writer. He can be reached at roger@bookpage.com.

As a person growing old more rapidly than he cares to contemplate, I can tell you that no one in his youth or even early middle age thinks he will ever get old. It is a beneficial trick life plays on us, because if we…

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Challenged to find meaning in his own final years, the esteemed Jungian psychologist James Hillman discovers, creates, or imagines the reader will eventually choose one of these verbs a rational, confident acceptance of the degeneration of old age.

But The Force Of Character, as Hillman stresses almost sternly, is not about facing or understanding death. This is no guidebook to the afterlife, no sweet vision of eternity. Nor does he present cheery prescriptions for combating the aging process. He believes that it is undignified, if not downright bonkers, to invest valuable psychological resources in vainly trying to stop the body’s inevitable, potentially illuminating decline. Rather than imagine 90-year-olds leaping in aerobics classes, Hillman teaches them to learn from supposed infirmities. Does short-term memory fade like the dew? Then use long-term memory to perform the important psychological work of long-term life review. When the physical senses fail and Chateaubriand tastes like cardboard, let the mind’s eyes take over, sharpening perceptions of life’s subtler beauties. Can’t sleep? Let the long hours of the night become a rich resource for deepening wisdom.

Hillman’s theme may at first seem radically contrarian: Old age uses infirmities to present a panoply of opportunities for refining character. Diminished physical faculties coupled with the active intelligence of the soul allow us to recognize and fully become a unique self.

Drawing upon a wealth of references to classical mythology, the Bible, poetry, philosophy, and rock lyrics, The Force Of Character maintains that our century foolishly disdains the historic importance of character, which Hillman distinguishes from morality or genetic inheritance.

He believes that we deny the last years, so valuable for reviewing life and making amends, for cosmological speculation and the confabulation of memories into stories, for sensory enjoyment of the world’s images, and for connections with apparitions and ancestors. That quote is Hillman’s prescription for imaginative, consequential aging. To the reader frantically seeking guidelines for preserving youth or promises of bliss in the hereafter, such rewards may seem too abstract and conjectural.

Of course, that is Hillman’s point. To concentrate on character is to find sense and purpose in the changes that define the decades past age 60 or so. In that transcendent sense, as he writes, Character is a therapeutic idea and determines the fragile image we finally leave to the world.

Charles Flowers recently received a Washington Irving Award for his book, A Science Odyssey.

Challenged to find meaning in his own final years, the esteemed Jungian psychologist James Hillman discovers, creates, or imagines the reader will eventually choose one of these verbs a rational, confident acceptance of the degeneration of old age.

But The Force Of…

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You survived the beach vacation with Aunt Agnes and the rest of the family, only to return home just in time for school to begin. It seems to never end, this hustle and bustle that permeates your life. But fear not, my friend, we’re here to help you and the kids start back to school on the right track.

What gift doesn’t require registration, late bells, and forms in triplicate? Why books, of course! 
The Brain Quest series has been around since 1992. Its curriculum-based, question-and-answer game formats help children learn facts, but the friendly presentation encourages deeper understanding. Recently Workman gave Brain Quest a facelift, with newer (and more) questions and new packaging. With questions for children from toddler age to teenage, there’s an edition of Brain Quest that’s just right for your child.
 
For example, Preschool Brain Quest (0761115145) covers first numbers, rhyming words, animal riddles and a Panda named Amanda; 4th grade Brain Quest (0761110240) covers syllables, suffixes, the solar system, Maya Angelou and the numerator; 5th grade Brain Quest (0761110259) covers polygons, homophones, the Aztecs, Shakespeare, and the 15th amendment; 6th grade Brain Quest (0761110267) covers equations, archipelagos, metaphors, Mother Teresa and the Magna Carta. There’s even Brain Quest Extra: For the Car (0761115382) to keep children sharp during lazy summer months or holiday breaks. At $10.95 each, they’re quite a bargain, and the wealth of knowledge received is immeasurable.
Cut down on homework stresses with Scholastic’s Kid’s Almanac for the 21st Century ($18.95, 0590307231, ages 8+). Chock full of lists, facts, profiles and timelines, this book is an easy reference tool for all those science and history reports. Its colorful, fluid design and stylish layout will appeal to young researchers, and its up-to-date entries mean this book will not be dated anytime soon.

What goes up and never comes down? College costs! Get a head start on college planning with The Scholarship Book 2000: The Complete Guide to Private-Sector Scholarships, Fellowships, Grants, and Loans for the Undergraduate (Prentice Hall Publishers, $25, 0735200793). Author Daniel J. Cassidy has assembled thousands of scholarship sources and pertinent details regarding each award. Some of these details include amounts, deadlines and contact information. Good news: You do not have to earn straight A’s and thousands of extra-curriculars and honors for most of these. Cassidy provides easy cross-referencing, enabling readers to look up information alphabetically or categorically. The entries are carefully explained and indexed. The Scholarship Book 2000 will put you way ahead of the financial aid race.

And while many scholarships do not require stellar grades, test scores and the like, it’s no crime to succeed in these areas, either. How can busy college-bounders prepare for those standardized tests? The Princeton Review has an answer their Word Smart audiobook series features Word Smart SAT Hit Parade (Living Language, $25, 0609604406) and Word Smart + Grammar Smart (Living Language, $39.95, 0609603515) among others. SAT Hit Parade contains four 60-minute audiocassettes that cover 250 words commonly found on the exam, including spellings and definitions of each word. This list is taught in The Princeton Review’s SAT prep courses and books, and includes interactive quizzes. Grammar Smart’s CD edition contains six hours of more than 200 essential words, parts of speech and common grammar goofs. Both are perfect for students on the go, audio learners and anyone who wishes to communicate more effectively.

When your favorite scholar is packing for the fall, one item that cannot be left behind is Chicken Soup for the College Soul: Inspiring and Humorous Stories About College (Health Communications, Inc., $12.95, 1558747028). Amid pressures to achieve academically and socially, very often the college soul can be neglected. These essays, varied in voice and perspective, offer insights into leaving home, college classrooms, dating, and the looming future. Parents may want to purchase a second copy for themselves as a memory refresher.

Determining a major course of study is often scarier than the major itself. Too often students are afraid of making an error that is irreversible or, worse yet, discovering their preferences long after their college years have passed. The College Majors Handbook: The Actual Jobs, Earnings, and Trends for Graduates of 60 College Majors (Jist, $24.95, 1563705184) seeks to narrow that gap, helping students determine their strengths and weaknesses, interests and values as they choose their course of study. Authors Neeta P. Fogg, Paul E. Harrington and Thomas F. Harrington provide information about the majors themselves, types of courses and training involved, actual jobs obtained with a given major, salary and employment outlooks and much, much more. And while students need to be reassured that there are no specific formulas or guaranteed results to life’s decisions, books like The College Majors Handbook certainly help inform them of their options.

 

You survived the beach vacation with Aunt Agnes and the rest of the family, only to return home just in time for school to begin. It seems to never end, this hustle and bustle that permeates your life. But fear not, my friend, we're here…

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In You Are Here (For Now), artist and author Adam J. Kurtz is vulnerable, wise and hilarious as he doles out advice and comfort to anyone who’s really going through it.


What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
Sometimes the worst advice comes from the people who love us the most. I won’t go into it (oops, bad start to an interview), but someone who loves me was enabling me when what I really needed was a full reset. 

Advice is always going to be highly subjective, even when it comes from the most intuitive and special people in our lives. I make sure to be especially transparent about that when dispensing any myself, including within my books.

What motivates you to motivate others? Is motivation even the right word for it?
I don’t think it’s motivation so much as me continually searching for a way to be OK—yes, me, an infamously (to myself) not OK person—and then wanting to share it with as many people as possible. In the last few years, and particularly as I did more speaking, I realized that my weirdo-brain way of thinking through shit actually sounds a lot like other peoples’ inner monologues, and so I began to think that maybe there’s power in opening up the conversation to others.

Do you remember the first time you reached a “vibe equilibrium” (when good vibes and bad vibes can coexist)? How sustainable is such a state?
“GOOD VIBES ONLY” is tone-deaf at this point because we’re all in the jello now! It’s pandemic year two, and everybody is simultaneously struggling through very real hardships and loss while still experiencing moments of joy and celebrating milestones in spite of everything. That’s the vibe equilibrium I’m talking about. Turns out, it’s pretty sustainable. In fact, it’s the only thing that works, because pure ignorance is dangerous, but focusing solely on the news cycle makes it impossible to feel good at all.

“Pure ignorance is dangerous, but focusing solely on the news cycle makes it impossible to feel good at all.”

When you sit down to write, who do you imagine you’re talking to? What role does the idea of an audience play in your process?
This is literally SO mentally-ill-gay-Jew of me, but at least half the time I’m just talking to myself. I mean, aren’t we all? Even our most objective advice and anecdotes are still rooted in our own lived experiences. I think about a younger version of myself, or a friend sitting across from me on the couch talking through their current mix of stress and insecurity. 

I am totally a secret-keeper and confidant for people, and it’s an honor to be “that friend” for the people I love. I imagine my readers as friends who are going through it right now, and since it’s not always appropriate to instigate a heart-to-heart, I thought about this book as a way for readers to opt-in to talk about all the stuff we don’t usually talk about—like failure, shame, anxiety and death.

What is it about being glib that helps you cope? Is this a way to reach deeper levels of honesty?
I mean, yes, in the way that my favorite deadpan, self-deprecating humor is often incredibly honest. It’s also the kind of deep-level honesty that this poor barista did not ask for. So it’s about finding the funny silver lining for yourself, but also making sure that you have and respect boundaries.

Has the shift in how we talk about self-care changed our lived experience of it? If so, do you think this change is for the better?
Yes yes yes yes yes. I am so grateful for the way this conversation continues to change, and I try to be very intentional about my use of the phrases “self-care,” “mental health” and “mental illness.” It’s so necessary for us to allow ourselves and one another to acknowledge mental well-being in a mainstream, practical, actionable way. 

Seeing Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles, two incredible Black women at the top of their games, speak openly about mental health and even deprioritize their passion, pride and income to focus inward is so incredible. It means a lot to me to have a small part in this conversation that continues to unfold around all of us.

“I thought about this book as a way for readers to opt-in to talk about all the stuff we don’t usually talk about—like failure, shame, anxiety and death.”

It often feels like it’s becoming increasingly hard to be a human being. Is there reprieve from this? If so, where do you find it in your own life?
I think we’re simply seeing more ways of being and are subsequently faced with far more comparisons and possibilities than before. It’s hard for me to realize I’m unhappy if I don’t know how happy I could theoretically be! But many of the same tools that hurt us (hi, social media) can also bring us comfort, inspiration and community. I always think of my art as a breadcrumb trail left out in the universe to attract my people. Sharing this process has brought incredible friendships, and my husband, into my life. Not to mention a book deal . . .

What music has helped you stay alive? What’s the soundtrack of your life right now?
Michelle Branch’s “The Spirit Room” meant absolutely everything to me as a teen. It came out around the same time that my family moved from Canada to the USA and I was coming to terms with my sexuality and how it conflicted with our Jewish religion. “Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew,” sung in such literal terms, meant the world to me as a 13-year-old. It’s that album’s 20-year anniversary this year, and she’s rerecorded it, so I’ve had that in rotation, a fresh take on the words and melodies that are hard-wired into my brain.

Alanis Morissette’s “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie” also must receive credit for being an incredible, dense, vulnerable look into a young, intelligent and complex mind. Sometimes I think that if Alanis Morissette could find joy and success in her art on a complicated path through teen fame and pain, I can do my thing and have that be enough.

Speaking of musicians, did you mean for the handwritten parts of the book to look like the cover of Drake’s “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late”?
Oh my god, get away from me!!!!!!! I’d been doing this thing for many years, and when that album came out, so many people asked me if I worked on it. That type was actually created by the street artist JIMJOE, and when I first moved to New York, he had tagged the door downstairs “OK OK OK OK NO PROBLEMS.” I wish I had written THAT first, but I’ve saved the photo and still might get it tattooed some day.

Author photo © Michelle Mishina

Meet Adam J. Kurtz, a mental health guru you can actually relate to.
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Making nice In the world of networking, schmoozing, or even asking someone out on a date, first impressions can still make or break you. That’s where How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less comes in. This small, easy-to-read book gives you the basics for meeting and greeting with confidence. Author Nicholas Boothman, a former fashion and advertising photographer turned master neuro-linguistic programmer, aims his advice at establishing rapport that sometimes awkward stage between meeting and communicating.

It seems obvious that people are naturally drawn to others like themselves, so the key in establishing rapport is to learn how to become like them. Each person you meet is like a puzzle, and without being overtly obvious, the goal is to align your behavior with his or hers. Focusing on this concept of synchrony, Boothman’s has developed a four-part plan for establishing rapport. First, start with a positive attitude; next, naturally mirror the other person’s attitude, body language, and voice; ask the right type of questions to get the conversation going; then read the other person’s sensory preferences (sight, sound, or touch) and adjust accordingly. It may not sound simple, but more than likely you’re already doing most of this and don’t realize it. If not, Boothman provides easy practice exercises to get you in the habit of synchronizing naturally. Whether it’s business, social, or personal, 90 Seconds will soon have you on your way to becoming a rapport-creating pro.

Making nice In the world of networking, schmoozing, or even asking someone out on a date, first impressions can still make or break you. That's where How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less comes in. This small, easy-to-read book gives you…

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For genealogists Looking for that long lost great-aunt who once lived in California, got married, and moved to Timbuktu? Well, the key to tracing your ancestry is at your fingertips or your keyboard with Genealogy Online, a book by Elizabeth Crowe including 50 sites used to conduct genealogical searches online. This comprehensive and informative book has widespread appeal for people interested in finding their roots and creating or discovering their family trees. For those who are not Internet savvy, Part 1: The Basics, provides an excellent introduction to understanding modems, software, Internet jargon, and basic tips for online searches. This step-by-step guide to online family history searches is interesting, informative, and user-friendly. And you just might find that elusive aunt after all.

For genealogists Looking for that long lost great-aunt who once lived in California, got married, and moved to Timbuktu? Well, the key to tracing your ancestry is at your fingertips or your keyboard with Genealogy Online, a book by Elizabeth Crowe including 50 sites used…

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The Mozart Effect¨ For Children: Awakening Your Child’s Mind, Health, and Creativity with Music Want to help your child be a musical genius? Or simply a well-adjusted, musically exposed child? Much has been said in recent years about how classical music stimulates brain development in young children, leading not only to increased musical talent but to added math prowess and overall I.Q. as well.

Regardless of whether this is true (author Don Campbell believes wholeheartedly in what he has termed the “Mozart Effect”), who can argue with the benefits of introducing children to music and rhythm at an early age? Campbell, who wrote the best-selling The Mozart Effect about music’s power on the body, spirit, and intellect, now writes The Mozart Effect for Children, an informative guide for parents and educators. Whether you want to “crawl, reach and clap” with a toddler or create a musical sense of identity in a 10-year-old, you’ll find a symphony of suggestions, organized in various age-relevant chapters.

For instance, Campbell notes that for toddlers, language development in general often parallels that of musical ability. He suggests specific games and songs, not just Mozart, but everything from nursery rhymes to rock. Incorporating music into all sorts of daily activities “gives kids a chance to develop basic timing, coordination, creativity, and problem-solving skills,” Campbell explains.

Music is indeed an area I’d like to incorporate more into my own family life. Our 15-month twins are doing just as Campbell predicts, starting to sing as they form their first words. It’s a joy to watch how their little bodies respond to rhythm and dance. I plan to keep Campbell’s book as a reference for them and their older brother as well.

Campbell also gives plenty of fun suggestions for older children, such as “learning to the beat,” making spelling lessons more fun by practicing words to different rhythmic patterns. Several activities address learning to read: “try turning down the lights a bit and playing Mozart, Vivaldi, Scarlatti, or Bach softly in the background as your child reads aloud.” One father set the multiplication tables to music, with great success for his previously reluctant mathematician.

Regardless of your family’s musical knowledge or talents, The Mozart Effect for Children is full of easy, practical suggestions to help children excel in school and learn to fully appreciate music. So sing, dance, and clap to your heart’s delight! Everyone will be the better for it.

Alice Cary sings, dances, and claps from her home in Groton, Massachusetts.

The Mozart Effect¨ For Children: Awakening Your Child's Mind, Health, and Creativity with Music Want to help your child be a musical genius? Or simply a well-adjusted, musically exposed child? Much has been said in recent years about how classical music stimulates brain development in…
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There is an abundance of books about how to find a man, keep a man, make a man happy. But how about a book about scaring a man away? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: The Universal Don’ts of Dating by Michele Alexander and Jeannie Long is just that book a welcome, witty antidote to all of those special relationship guides. So how do you send a guy running scared? Well, for starters, call him constantly. Ask him if he thinks you’re fat constantly. Never refer to yourself in the first person. It’s always we. Even more hilarious than these don’ts are the stick-figure drawings that accompany them.

Now when you make him that mixed tape with all of your songs on it, and he flees the scene, you’ll know that it wasn’t just that Celine Dion tune that made him amscra.

Katherine H. Wyrick, editor of BookPage

There is an abundance of books about how to find a man, keep a man, make a man happy. But how about a book about scaring a man away? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: The Universal Don'ts of Dating by Michele Alexander…
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With so many parenting resources out there these days, do you really need another one? In the case of Attachment Parenting, the answer is yes. The term attachment parenting was coined by pediatrician William Sears, and refers to a method of child-rearing that focuses on intuitive care of infants and children. In the introduction by Dr. Sears, the features of attachment parenting are described as the Ôbaby b’s’: birth bonding, breastfeeding, bedsharing (sleeping with your baby), babywearing (carrying your baby in a sling), and belief in the signal value of an infant’s cry. Granju and Kennedy explain in the first paragraphs that their book is fundamentally different from typical parenting books, particularly because this philosophy trusts that the parents in partnership with the child are the parenting experts. No one author, doctor, or other person can or should tell a parent exactly when their infant should sleep, eat, or even cry. In addition, many of the philosophical principles, such as responding quickly to an infant’s cries, run counter to those that permeate American parenting in the 20th century.

After defining attachment parenting in depth, Granju and Kennedy offer advice about how to prepare for the baby on the way and an attachment-style birth. Much of the rest of the book is devoted to the two most controversial aspects of attachment parenting: extended breastfeeding and sharing sleep. For those concerned that this style conflicts with working outside the home, Attachment Parenting spends a chapter addressing the issue, and even goes so far as to provide a template letter requesting the creation of a baby-friendly workplace.

Through the use of cross-cultural comparisons, anecdotal evidence, and excerpts by researchers, the authors present evidence that attachment parenting works in all types of families. It’s reassuring to read about the successful experiences of other parents and to learn how this parenting style has affected their lives and relationships with their children.

For both those familiar with attachment parenting and neophytes, some of the strongest aspects of the book are the comprehensive lists of like-minded publications and electronic media. News-groups, websites, magazines, and even other parenting books are referenced. Attachment Parenting is a must for those who plan to attachment parent.

With so many parenting resources out there these days, do you really need another one? In the case of Attachment Parenting, the answer is yes. The term attachment parenting was coined by pediatrician William Sears, and refers to a method of child-rearing that focuses on…

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