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Making nice In the world of networking, schmoozing, or even asking someone out on a date, first impressions can still make or break you. That’s where How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less comes in. This small, easy-to-read book gives you the basics for meeting and greeting with confidence. Author Nicholas Boothman, a former fashion and advertising photographer turned master neuro-linguistic programmer, aims his advice at establishing rapport that sometimes awkward stage between meeting and communicating.

It seems obvious that people are naturally drawn to others like themselves, so the key in establishing rapport is to learn how to become like them. Each person you meet is like a puzzle, and without being overtly obvious, the goal is to align your behavior with his or hers. Focusing on this concept of synchrony, Boothman’s has developed a four-part plan for establishing rapport. First, start with a positive attitude; next, naturally mirror the other person’s attitude, body language, and voice; ask the right type of questions to get the conversation going; then read the other person’s sensory preferences (sight, sound, or touch) and adjust accordingly. It may not sound simple, but more than likely you’re already doing most of this and don’t realize it. If not, Boothman provides easy practice exercises to get you in the habit of synchronizing naturally. Whether it’s business, social, or personal, 90 Seconds will soon have you on your way to becoming a rapport-creating pro.

Making nice In the world of networking, schmoozing, or even asking someone out on a date, first impressions can still make or break you. That's where How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less comes in. This small, easy-to-read book gives you…

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Focusing on emotional intelligence and self-awareness, these titles offer insight for managing emotions, handling stress and boosting communication skills. Here’s to a transformative new year!

Readers looking to cultivate a more peaceful mindset will find helpful strategies in Julie Smith’s Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Smith is a clinical psychologist, educator and writer who has been featured on CNN and the BBC. After gaining a robust social media following with her content about mental health, Smith decided to write a book so that she could delve deeper into some of the issues she often addresses with her patients in therapy.

In her warm, welcoming book, Smith focuses on weighty topics that we all contend with, such as stress, grief, fear and self-doubt, and provides suggestions for how to work through these feelings. She also encourages readers to find out what motivates them so they can use it to implement important life changes. Throughout, she takes a proactive approach, offering methods for dissolving anxiety, using stress for positive ends and managing low moods. She includes writing prompts and easy-to-do exercises to help readers explore how they respond to criticism, how they can confront anxious thoughts and more.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is briskly written and seasoned with compassionate insights. “When we understand a little about how our minds work and we have some guideposts on how to deal with our emotions in a healthy way,” Smith writes, “we can not only build resilience, but we can thrive and, over time, find a sense of growth.” Readers who are eager to achieve emotional balance and make a fresh start in 2022 will find the direction they need in Smith’s empowering book.

Popular science writer Catherine Price offers more ideas about how to start this year off on the right foot.

In Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking, Leonard Mlodinow considers the seemingly diametrical relationship between emotion and logic and shows that these two facets of human nature are not as opposed as we might imagine. A theoretical physicist and mathematician, Mlodinow has previously co-written two books with Stephen Hawking. So what can a physicist tell us about emotional intelligence? Taking a science-supported approach, Mlodinow examines the nature and usefulness of our everyday feelings. He demonstrates that, when it comes to important processes such as goal-setting and decision-making, our emotions play as key a role as our ability to think critically.

“We know that emotion is as important as reason in guiding our thoughts and decisions, though it operates in a different manner,” Mlodinow writes. Over the course of the book, he explores the way emotions work by looking at how they arise in the brain and inform our thought processes. He also investigates the history and development of human feelings, including how they’ve been regarded by different cultures in the past. Mlodinow shares a wealth of practical advice and guidance on how to monitor, and even embrace, emotions in ways that can lead to self-improvement. The book includes questionnaires that allow readers to determine their own emotional profiles, as well.

Synthesizing hard research, lively personal anecdotes and input from psychologists and neuroscientists, Mlodinow tackles complex topics in a reader-friendly fashion to create a narrative that’s wonderfully accessible. Understanding our emotions is a critical step in the journey toward personal growth, and Mlodinow’s remarkable book will put readers on the right track.

If you’ve resolved to get in touch with your feelings in 2022, then we have the books for you.
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When life handed the world lemons in the form of a global pandemic, Catherine Price found a way to make lemonade. She began researching and writing a book that would help readers define, prioritize and add more fun to their lives. For anyone hoping to make 2022 a banner year, The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again provides the perfect jump-start. Instead of trying to corral the willpower and restraint that’s key to so many self-improvement plans, Price prioritizes fun, a strategy she compares to “going on a diet that requires you to eat more foods that you love.”

“We go into this self-restriction phase after the indulgence of the holidays,” Price says, speaking by phone from her Philadelphia home. “But you can make positive change in your life and have fun. In January, we feel like we have to make up for anything we did in December, instead of realizing that this is a wonderful opportunity to set a good tone for the new year by doing things that make us happier.”

Price notes that millions of people devote time and therapy to reducing stress and anxiety, but most of us contemplate fun only as an afterthought. “I’ve drunk my own Kool-Aid,” Price admits, her voice brimming with enthusiasm. “Really, fun is one of the most important things in life, and the more fun we have and the more we prioritize fun, the happier and healthier we will be.” As she writes in The Power of Fun, “It should be our guiding star.”

Read our starred review of ‘The Power of Fun.’

Price’s latest book is a natural sequel to her 2018 book, How to Break Up With Your Phone, which she wrote after realizing that she was spending hours mindlessly scrolling on her smartphone while ignoring her infant daughter. By limiting her screen time, Price created more free time—but then she didn’t know what she actually wanted to do with that time.   

For Price, her most vivid experiences of fun occurred while learning to play the guitar. Once she realized that, one thing led to another: She formed a small band, began performing at open mic nights, started drum lessons and made new friends—activities she particularly relished because her work as a freelance writer is so solitary. During the COVID-19 pandemic, Price and her musical friends had numerous outside jam sessions, sometimes in bone-chilling weather. “We did this for the entire winter,” she says, reminiscing about a keyboard that is probably still covered in campfire ashes. “The fact that all of us committed to this source of fun was so meaningful. We went beyond playmates and became friends. And it all came from having a couple other people in my life who also prioritized fun.”

For The Power of Fun, Price surveyed numerous people in detail about their own fun experiences and how they felt during those moments. She calls her writing “science-backed self-help,” explaining, “I don’t like the sort of self-help that’s just platitudes. I really want there to be some evidence. I want to know exactly why I’m doing something.” However, as she dug into the material, she was shocked to discover that there wasn’t even an agreed-upon definition of fun, nor was there much research on the subject.

“This is a wonderful opportunity to set a good tone for the new year by doing things that make us happier.”

Price eventually decided to label passive entertainment, like watching TV for hours at a time, as Fake Fun and to create her own definition for True Fun—moments of what she calls “playful, connected flow” in which someone connects with other people in a meaningful way and becomes so fully engrossed in the moment that they lose track of time. There’s a lot of middle ground between these two poles, Price notes, full of enjoyable, worthwhile pastimes that simply don’t reach peak fun. Luckily, The Power of Fun includes a Fun Audit, which Price developed to help readers identify the activities most likely to spark inner joy.

Price stresses that it’s equally important for each person to recognize activities that aren’t personally fun. For instance, Price knows that she doesn’t like charades or performing improv comedy, and that while she enjoys being part of musical groups, she’s not a solo performer. “If you’ve tried something a number of times and it never generates fun for you, then maybe it’s OK to move on to the next thing,” she says. “By saying no to that, you might open up a new opportunity that’s actually fun.”

Speaking of things that aren’t personally fun—Price faced multiple challenges as she wrote about this joyful magic ingredient “during an objectively not-fun period of history.” One moment was especially memorable, when she found herself alone for several days in the midst of the pandemic. “Imagine, if you will,” she writes in the book, “me slouched in front of my laptop with about fifteen browser windows open, each containing a different research paper about the horrible health effects of loneliness and isolation, as I sat on the couch, isolated and alone.”

If you’ve resolved to get in touch with your feelings this year, these books will help you increase your EQ.

“At the same time,” Price says, “the project had a powerfully positive effect on my own life. It allowed me to weather a difficult time with my sanity intact—and in fact, with my cheerfulness intact. It gave me something positive to focus on.”

At the start of the 2020 lockdown, Price, her husband and their young daughter headed to Price’s childhood home in New Jersey, where her parents could help with child care. “It was interesting to see my daughter playing in some of the very same places that I had played as a kid. But it was also interesting to reflect on what play means as an adult,” Price says. “Having a 5-year-old is very useful for reminding yourself that there are opportunities for playfulness and connection and flow around us all the time. We just need to learn to tune into them.”

This change of focus even improved Price’s marriage. “[My husband and I] were very playful people to begin with,” she says, “but it’s been really useful for us to reframe our own experience through the lens of fun and treat it as a priority, both as a couple and individually.”

“If you’re having fun with people . . . you’re embracing your shared humanity.”

In addition to improving interpersonal relationships, Price believes this process could even heal some of the nation’s divides. “Fun brings people together,” she says. “If you’re having fun with people, you’re not yelling at them, you’re not emphasizing your political differences. You’re embracing your shared humanity.”

Price became a science writer somewhat by accident. In high school, she believed science classes were boring, hard and irrelevant. That feeling changed at age 22, when she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. “That moment of having to take control of my own blood sugar for the rest of my life, lest I suffer devastating consequences, like blindness or amputation or stroke or kidney failure, was a big turning point,” she recalls.

An added influence was Michael Pollan, Price’s mentor at the University of California, Berkeley, journalism program, who helped her discover that she likes “writing about health and science in a quirky, personal, fun way.” For one assignment, Price wrote about being diagnosed with diabetes, which led to the New York Times publishing her essay “Thinking About Diabetes With Every Bite” in 2009. Eventually, she even wrote a book about nutrition called Vitamania: How Vitamins Revolutionized the Way We Think About Food.

“Writing this book made me tune into what made me want to become a writer to begin with.”

For years Price has contemplated writing a book about hormones, a subject that fascinates her, but now she thinks she’ll choose a different topic for her next project. “I want to really lean into this fun thing,” she says. “I personally feel that my books come most alive whenever I’m telling a personal anecdote, and I love writing that way. Writing this book made me tune into what made me want to become a writer to begin with.”

Price hopes The Power of Fun will likewise help readers gather with friends and “spend January or February staging their own kind of ‘funterventions.’” Once you start noticing tiny, everyday moments, she says, “it brightens up your life, and, in turn, that buoyancy can help energize you so that you can start to seek out even bigger moments of playful, connected flow. I see it as a very self-perpetuating, self-reinforcing cycle with innumerable positive effects.”

These lessons have led to a very different life, Price explains. “Realizing what I really want to prioritize as fun has been truly life-changing. And I’m so excited to share that message with the world.”

Author photo by Colin Lenton

Popular science writer Catherine Price says to stop scrolling, put down your phone and play.
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Fun “shouldn’t be an afterthought,” writes popular science author Catherine Price. “It should be our guiding star.” How’s that for good news?

After writing How to Break Up With Your Phone and following her own book’s advice, Price discovered that she had more free time, but she experienced a moment of crisis when she couldn’t figure out what to do with that freedom. Eventually she learned how to fill those moments with newfound fun and joy, a process that she describes in The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. It’s a natural sequel to her previous book, as well as a similarly satisfying—and transformational—read.

Catherine Price shares the ways her own life was transformed by learning to prioritize fun.

This naturally fun and funny writer dug her dusty guitar out of the closet and became part of an enriching musical community that has changed her life. Meanwhile, Price also began researching the subject of fun, sorting out the difference between what she calls Fake Fun (such as watching TV for hours at a time or endlessly scrolling through social media) and True Fun, which leaves people feeling “nourished and refreshed.” After devouring books on the subject and querying hundreds of people about how they experience fun, she came up with her own definition of True Fun as a “confluence of playfulness, connection, and flow.” It’s a definition that holds up well throughout her discussions, allowing readers many opportunities to see how their own activities measure up.

The Power of Fun includes a toolkit for those whose leisure lives need a boost, including a Fun Audit and practical suggestions for creating your own Fun Squad; but even those whose lives are already highly entertaining will come to view and value their pastimes in a new light. Price documents her own journey of fun failures, such as improv comedy and charades, and successes, such as playing light-up badminton at night with her husband, an absurdly humorous aqua aerobics lesson in Latvia and learning to row crew at age 40, which resulted in a dramatic capsize in Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Price reminds readers to cherish moments of fun both large and small—even “microdoses,” such as a quick smile or an unexpected exchange with a stranger—and to make time for fun “booster shots” like vacations or annual gatherings “that fill up your fun tank and replenish your energy for a longer period of time.”

Price is a trustworthy guide with a personable voice that stands out on each page. The Power of Fun reads like a heaping serving of a tasty yet healthy snack. You’ll enjoy every bite and feel energized afterward.

The Power of Fun provides instructions for filling your life with the kind of playful, connected fun that leaves you feeling nourished and refreshed.
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If you’ve been feeling down, take heart. Environmental icon Jane Goodall remains hopeful, so surely we readers can, too. Her wisdom, along with four additional books, fills this season with inspiration and empowerment.

★ The Book of Hope

Jane Goodall may well be Earth’s ultimate cheerleader. In The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times, she professes steadfast hope for both humanity and our planet that’s rooted in “action and engagement,” not simply wishful thinking. In straightforward, easy-to-digest prose, she writes that each one of us can make a difference, and that “the cumulative effect of thousands of ethical actions can help to save and improve our world for future generations.” 

The book is framed as a series of conversations between Goodall and Douglas Abrams, a truly engaging thinker and writer who took a similar approach in the first title in the Global Icons series, The Book of Joy, in which he facilitated conversations between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Readers will be drawn into The Book of Hope as Abrams arrives at Goodall’s home in Tanzania for dinner, bearing a bottle of whiskey. Their subsequent chats span the globe; they talk at the Jane Goodall Institute in the Netherlands, and eventually, because of COVID-19 restrictions, they connect via Zoom as Goodall gives Abrams a virtual tour of her childhood home in Bournemouth, England. 

Their discussions are focused yet wide-ranging as Goodall explains the four main sources of her hope: “the amazing human intellect, the resilience of nature, the power of youth, and the indomitable human spirit.” She admits that she briefly lost her way after her husband Derek Bryceson died in 1980, saying, “Grief can make one feel hopeless.” Abrams and Goodall’s talks deepen after he unexpectedly loses his father to lymphoma and, later, his college roommate to suicide. “We are going through dark times,” Goodall says early in the book. For this reason and many more, The Book of Hope is a gem of a gift.

The Lightmaker’s Manifesto

If you’re yearning to become a true change-maker, then turn to Karen Walrond’s extremely helpful The Lightmaker’s Manifesto: How to Work for Change Without Losing Your Joy for a profound nudge. Walrond definitely walks the walk, having ditched her career as a lawyer to become an activism coach. As an Afro-Caribbean American immigrant from Trinidad and Tobago, she says, “my work is underpinned by an ongoing desire to fight discrimination and foster interconnectedness through the sharing of stories and images of beauty.”

After a colleague tried to pressure Walrond to break the law, she found herself at a crisis point in her career and spent months trying to figure out what to do next. She proceeded in a structured, analytical way—a process that she shares in narrative form, as well as in a “Lightmaker’s Manual” section of prompts and exercises to help readers make their own decisions. She confesses early on, “In my not-so-distant past, I had come up with a pretty extensive list of reasons why an activist life wasn’t for me.” But when she realized that she loved to speak, write and take photos, she searched for a way to put all these talents to work.

She bookends her account by discussing the beginning and end of a trip to Kenya sponsored by the ONE Campaign to fight poverty and preventable disease, describing the joyful rewards of her new career. “We can do this, my friends,” she says in her encouraging and authentic way. “There’s no end to the light that we can make.”

★ The Matter of Black Lives

The Matter of Black Lives: Writing From The New Yorker, co-edited by New Yorker editor David Remnick and staff writer Jelani Cobb, is a standout among recent books about race, notable for its historical perspective and breadth as well as for the excellent writing of its many renowned contributors. The first entry, for example, James Baldwin’s 1962 “Letter From a Region in My Mind,” marked a turning point for The New Yorker’s coverage of racial matters. It is a riveting, astounding essay, describing in a highly personal way Baldwin’s meeting with Elijah Muhammad, leader of the Nation of Islam. In a foreword, Cobb notes, “Baldwin’s essay was, for many readers, a jolt, a concussive experience. . . . As an indictment of American bigotry and hypocrisy, tackling themes of violence, sex, history, and religion, the piece continues to resonate more than a half century later.” 

The same can be said of so many of these essays. Journalist Calvin Trillin shares a fascinating 1964 account of a white man questioning Martin Luther King Jr.’s Christianity during a flight between Atlanta, Georgia, and Jackson, Mississippi. Some essays are simply pure pleasure, such as Andrea Lee’s 1983 piece “Quilts,” about her trip to see family in Ahoskie, North Carolina, and her desire to buy a handmade quilt. 

The Matter of Black Lives is a treasure chest of essays guaranteed to provoke, dismay, delight and inspire. 

Chicken Soup for the Soul: I’m Speaking Now

Sometimes it can be equally enlightening to read the words of the not-so-famous, like congressional staffer Jasmine J. Wyatt, who had a stark realization after an oral surgeon informed her that she had fractured her jaw after years of grinding her teeth. Wyatt mused that she had “morphed into a Black wallflower, gritting my teeth to keep from saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time. A silencing of myself over and over, until I thought I had nothing valuable left to say.” Thankfully, those days of silencing have lost their power over Wyatt and many others, as evidenced by Chicken Soup for the Soul: I’m Speaking Now: Black Women Share Their Truth in 101 Stories of Love, Courage and Hope, which is filled with short but commanding essays written by a variety of Black women sharing their personal experiences. 

These essays—and a few poems—are grouped into categories such as “Family & Food for the Soul” and “Identity and Roots,” and each piece begins with a quotation from a well-known figure, including Michelle Obama, Misty Copeland and Audre Lorde. Some offerings are nuggets of love, such as journalist Rebekah Sager’s tribute to her father, who raised her single-handedly, his actions lighting the way for Sager to raise her son “with dignity, vision, empathy and grace.” Other pieces feature insightful yet amusing journeys of self-discovery, like Rachel Decoste’s account of moving to Dakar, Senegal, and on her first day there, suddenly belting out a song from The Lion King. “I was mad at myself for starting my journey to the Motherland with a Disney soundtrack. . . . How colonized was my mind that this was the first tune that came to my spirit?” 

The many voices featured in I’m Speaking Now rise up like a powerful choir, offering melodies that will stay with you. 

Shedding the Shackles

British textile artist Lynne Stein admits that when she plans vacations, instead of craving beaches or cuisine, she seeks out local craft traditions, hoping to get a firsthand look at Yoruba tribal beadwork or Middle Eastern metalwork. She eventually decided to investigate the narratives surrounding the craftwork of female artists in Indigenous and marginalized communities, and the result is Shedding the Shackles: Women’s Empowerment Through Craft, an around-the-world-tour that showcases a variety of talent, traditions and history and provides an enlightening look at the transformative powers of female creativity.

The book begins with short entries focusing on individual artists and specific craft techniques, such as the increasingly popular Boro and Sashiko forms of Japanese stitching. There’s a profile of English artist Lauren O’Farrell, who coined the term “yarnstorming,” a type of knitted street art that has become wonderfully widespread. Readers also learn about arpilleristas, Chilean women who create three-dimensional appliqued textiles to document their lives as well as to shed light on human rights abuses and violence, especially during the regime of Augusto Pinochet. Vibrant photographs accompany each entry, focusing on both the artists and their exquisite craftsmanship. 

Stein includes longer discussions of female enterprises that are not only art but also a means of survival, such as Monkeybiz South Africa, founded in 2000 to empower underprivileged women as bead artists. Their funky 3D creations quickly became a worldwide hit and have been included in numerous international exhibitions. 

After perusing these pages, readers may adjust their own vacation plans to allow time for learning about and appreciating local art traditions.

Four books guide readers in building a better world, with wisdom from Jane Goodall, activist Karen Walrond and many more.
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In You Are Here (For Now), artist and author Adam J. Kurtz is vulnerable, wise and hilarious as he doles out advice and comfort to anyone who’s really going through it.


What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
Sometimes the worst advice comes from the people who love us the most. I won’t go into it (oops, bad start to an interview), but someone who loves me was enabling me when what I really needed was a full reset. 

Advice is always going to be highly subjective, even when it comes from the most intuitive and special people in our lives. I make sure to be especially transparent about that when dispensing any myself, including within my books.

What motivates you to motivate others? Is motivation even the right word for it?
I don’t think it’s motivation so much as me continually searching for a way to be OK—yes, me, an infamously (to myself) not OK person—and then wanting to share it with as many people as possible. In the last few years, and particularly as I did more speaking, I realized that my weirdo-brain way of thinking through shit actually sounds a lot like other peoples’ inner monologues, and so I began to think that maybe there’s power in opening up the conversation to others.

Do you remember the first time you reached a “vibe equilibrium” (when good vibes and bad vibes can coexist)? How sustainable is such a state?
“GOOD VIBES ONLY” is tone-deaf at this point because we’re all in the jello now! It’s pandemic year two, and everybody is simultaneously struggling through very real hardships and loss while still experiencing moments of joy and celebrating milestones in spite of everything. That’s the vibe equilibrium I’m talking about. Turns out, it’s pretty sustainable. In fact, it’s the only thing that works, because pure ignorance is dangerous, but focusing solely on the news cycle makes it impossible to feel good at all.

“Pure ignorance is dangerous, but focusing solely on the news cycle makes it impossible to feel good at all.”

When you sit down to write, who do you imagine you’re talking to? What role does the idea of an audience play in your process?
This is literally SO mentally-ill-gay-Jew of me, but at least half the time I’m just talking to myself. I mean, aren’t we all? Even our most objective advice and anecdotes are still rooted in our own lived experiences. I think about a younger version of myself, or a friend sitting across from me on the couch talking through their current mix of stress and insecurity. 

I am totally a secret-keeper and confidant for people, and it’s an honor to be “that friend” for the people I love. I imagine my readers as friends who are going through it right now, and since it’s not always appropriate to instigate a heart-to-heart, I thought about this book as a way for readers to opt-in to talk about all the stuff we don’t usually talk about—like failure, shame, anxiety and death.

What is it about being glib that helps you cope? Is this a way to reach deeper levels of honesty?
I mean, yes, in the way that my favorite deadpan, self-deprecating humor is often incredibly honest. It’s also the kind of deep-level honesty that this poor barista did not ask for. So it’s about finding the funny silver lining for yourself, but also making sure that you have and respect boundaries.

Has the shift in how we talk about self-care changed our lived experience of it? If so, do you think this change is for the better?
Yes yes yes yes yes. I am so grateful for the way this conversation continues to change, and I try to be very intentional about my use of the phrases “self-care,” “mental health” and “mental illness.” It’s so necessary for us to allow ourselves and one another to acknowledge mental well-being in a mainstream, practical, actionable way. 

Seeing Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles, two incredible Black women at the top of their games, speak openly about mental health and even deprioritize their passion, pride and income to focus inward is so incredible. It means a lot to me to have a small part in this conversation that continues to unfold around all of us.

“I thought about this book as a way for readers to opt-in to talk about all the stuff we don’t usually talk about—like failure, shame, anxiety and death.”

It often feels like it’s becoming increasingly hard to be a human being. Is there reprieve from this? If so, where do you find it in your own life?
I think we’re simply seeing more ways of being and are subsequently faced with far more comparisons and possibilities than before. It’s hard for me to realize I’m unhappy if I don’t know how happy I could theoretically be! But many of the same tools that hurt us (hi, social media) can also bring us comfort, inspiration and community. I always think of my art as a breadcrumb trail left out in the universe to attract my people. Sharing this process has brought incredible friendships, and my husband, into my life. Not to mention a book deal . . .

What music has helped you stay alive? What’s the soundtrack of your life right now?
Michelle Branch’s “The Spirit Room” meant absolutely everything to me as a teen. It came out around the same time that my family moved from Canada to the USA and I was coming to terms with my sexuality and how it conflicted with our Jewish religion. “Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew,” sung in such literal terms, meant the world to me as a 13-year-old. It’s that album’s 20-year anniversary this year, and she’s rerecorded it, so I’ve had that in rotation, a fresh take on the words and melodies that are hard-wired into my brain.

Alanis Morissette’s “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie” also must receive credit for being an incredible, dense, vulnerable look into a young, intelligent and complex mind. Sometimes I think that if Alanis Morissette could find joy and success in her art on a complicated path through teen fame and pain, I can do my thing and have that be enough.

Speaking of musicians, did you mean for the handwritten parts of the book to look like the cover of Drake’s “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late”?
Oh my god, get away from me!!!!!!! I’d been doing this thing for many years, and when that album came out, so many people asked me if I worked on it. That type was actually created by the street artist JIMJOE, and when I first moved to New York, he had tagged the door downstairs “OK OK OK OK NO PROBLEMS.” I wish I had written THAT first, but I’ve saved the photo and still might get it tattooed some day.

Author photo © Michelle Mishina

Meet Adam J. Kurtz, a mental health guru you can actually relate to.
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In How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment―The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life, mystery and thriller author Sophie Hannah looks at the positive aspects of grudge-holding and how they can lead to personal growth. Drawing on her own experience and the input of psychotherapists, Hannah urges readers to stop trying to suppress negative feelings and offers advice on how to use grudges to strengthen relationships. She discusses forgiveness and the importance of letting go in a dryly funny, refreshingly down-to-earth tone in this guaranteed conversation-starter.

Shannon Lee passes on the philosophies of her famous father, action movie legend and cultural icon Bruce Lee, in Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee. Grounded in martial arts, a practice that Lee faithfully followed from an early age, the teachings shared in this inspiring book are geared toward self-realization and inner growth. The author emphasizes her father’s “be water” mantra and explains how it can help us be more flexible, adaptable and at ease in our daily lives. Highly relevant subjects such as living with change and defining yourself and your identity will get book clubs talking.

In You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy delivers tips on how we can improve our listening skills, stop getting sidetracked and focus on the present. In a brisk and lively narrative, she talks with professional listeners (including a CIA agent) and checks in with psychologists and sociologists for insights into the process of listening. A rewarding selection for reading groups, Murphy’s book offers numerous discussion topics, including technology’s impact upon communication and the human need for connection.

Readers who are seeking a sense of purpose will find a helpful guide in Casper ter Kuile’s The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities Into Soulful Practices. Ter Kuile feels that even as traditional notions of community change, we can still find meaning, connection and (yes!) joy in our daily routines with pastimes like yoga, journaling and reading. Through these simple pursuits, ter Kuile believes we can cultivate contentment. His hopeful book will guide readers on their individual journeys, and his thoughts on the meanings of community and personal fulfillment will trigger lively dialogue within reading groups.

These truly inspiring self-help books will energize and refresh your reading group.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY! When Cousin Curtis called last month to thank you for the lovely book you sent him, he mentioned that he was throwing a surprise party this month for his wife Wanda. Ah, yes, Wanda the Wife if Curtis is the guy who has it all, it’s probably because Wanda has been the one juggling it. Wanda’s birthday gift needs to remind her that she’s special and appreciated. What birthday gift is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and doesn’t require a sitter when left at home? Why, books, of course! A good story about friendship is always appreciated. Richard Ezra Probert, music teacher and wood/metal craftsman, has chronicled his friendship with Archie Raasch in Archie’s Way (The Lyons Press, $19.95, 1558217045). Amid the tools and planks, Archie and Richard forged a friendship that spanned 15 years. The lessons Richard learned (and subsequently shares with readers), however, will last a lifetime. Makes a wonderful gift for someone who has had or has been a mentor. Wanda remembers the mid-1950s (though she’s reluctant to admit it); every child was taught to fear polio, and the summers just seemed hotter back then. She would love Pat Cunningham Devoto’s first novel, My Last Days as Roy Rogers (Warner, $20, 0446523887). Heroine Tab Rutland’s prologue foreshadows that the summer of 1954 was a messenger of great changes to come. Readers, prepare to discover a world where it does, in fact, matter from which side of the Mason-Dixon you come; proprietors are assisted by double-barrel shotguns, and creative accounting wasn’t created during the 1980s. A great novel for those who like to remember, or for those who are visiting post-World War II America for the first time.

You still laugh when Curtis recounts Wanda’s attempts to train that mutt she adopted; housebreaking remains a sore subject for poor Wanda, and a mystery to her canine. To show your support for her efforts, Why We Love Dogs: A Bark and Smile Book (Andrews McMeel, $12.95, 0836269713) makes a wonderful gift. Black-and-white photographs capture the essence of dogs; brief, large text descriptions remind humans of the joys of dog ownership (lest they forget the next time they discover that their potted plants have been mutilated!).

On the brink of a new millennium, teenagers everywhere have opinions about the world that they are inheriting. From Johannesburg to Kiev, Belfast to San Francisco, teens worldwide offer an honest portrayal of the state of things in Hear These Voices: Youth at the Edge of the Millennium (Dutton’s Children’s Books, $22.99, 0525453539). Author Anthony Allison is a photographer and youth counselor who has traveled to various points on the map, talking to at risk children about their experiences and their hopes for the future. Complete with striking black-and-white photographs, Hear These Voices presents gripping stories in a forthright and respectable manner. Perfect for educators, counselors, or anyone else who is concerned about today’s youth. A time management queen like Wanda probably feels like her reign is always in jeopardy. Life Balance, Inc. president Mary LoVerde has written Stop Screaming at the Microwave: How to Connect Your Disconnected Life for seasoned veterans or novices at the keeping up with life game. LoVerde presents a step-by-step approach, taking small steps to the big finish. She identifies plans of action with regard to family, career, social life, and beyond. Readers, beware: after reading about how to keep up, you might find yourselves actually (gasp!) getting ahead!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! When Cousin Curtis called last month to thank you for the lovely book you sent him, he mentioned that he was throwing a surprise party this month for his wife Wanda. Ah, yes, Wanda the Wife if Curtis is the guy who has…

Behind the Book by

One day about six years ago I was driving across the San Francisco Bay Bridge with my then three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Kenna. She was looking out the window when she asked me, in a curious yet serious tone, "Daddy, why is everyone so angry?" 

Coming from my own child, it was, at the same moment, one of the cutest and most powerful questions I had ever been asked. I stumbled for an answer but nothing came out. As I looked out at the other drivers, Kenna's observations appeared quite accurate. Almost without exception, the other drivers appeared frustrated, agitated, nervous or angry. A minute or so later I admitted to Kenna, "I'm not really sure."

The more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed. After all, the tens of thousands of drivers on the road that morning were all seated in reasonably comfortable automobiles. We were all getting where we needed to be, albeit slowly. I'm guessing that most drivers probably had a cell phone and/or a radio to keep them occupied. Many were sipping coffee or talking to the person next to them.

It was one of those moments that I realized that many of the things we sweat really aren't that big a deal. It's not that anyone would actually like traffic, but then again, while all of us are subject to big and painful events in life, a traffic jam, like so many other day-to-day things, isn't one of them; it's not life and death.

Both before and after that day in traffic, there have been other moments and experiences in my life that have reinforced a similar message, moments of clarity that have reminded me of the relative importance of things. I've come to realize that life is far too important, short and magical to spend it sweating the little things.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff )was the first in a series of Don't Sweat books all designed to help foster this more accepting and peaceful attitude toward life. The latest in the series, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men (out this month), attempts to guide men in the same direction. But now, it's your turn to be the author! My publisher (Hyperion) and I decided it would be both fun and useful to others to publish an entire book filled with stories from my readers' perspectives. Many people have moments of insight in their lives, similar in some ways to my traffic story above. These are moments that remind us, or teach us, to not sweat the small stuff. At times, these insights come about from a touching or funny experience. Other times, it's a moment of tragedy or a near-miss of some kind. A friend of mine, for example, had a life-changing moment as the small plane he was traveling aboard was about to crash. Another friend was neurotic about keeping her house perfectly clean. Then she traveled to a country where the poverty broke her heart. Her perspective shifted, and she had a change of heart. When she returned, her home seemed like such a gift the mess and chaos less relevant. It's not that keeping her house clean was no longer important just that it was no longer an emergency!

I'd like to invite you to share your story with us. Although we won't be able to print them all, we will certainly learn from each of them. If your story is selected, we'd love to publish it in a book of Don't Sweat Stories so that others can learn from your experience. If you'd like to participate, please send us your one or two page story along with your address, phone number and e-mail address. If your story is selected, we will let you know. Please send your story by October 1, 2001, to Lary Rosenblatt, Creative Media, Inc. 1720 Post Road East, Westport, CT 06880. Or e-mail to larycma@aol.com It has been such a joy to write the Don't Sweat books. I hope you join me in this life-affirming adventure in sharing with others how we have learned to not sweat the small stuff.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men, is the latest entry in Richard Carlson's best-selling series of books on dealing with the day-to-day challenges of living in a stressful world. A psychologist, he lives with his family in northern California.

Winning combination for reducing stress

Women lead incredibly full lives these days, wrestling with responsibilities at work and at home. So BookPage and Hyperion, which publishes the Don't Sweat series, recently sponsored a De-stress Contest, asking women to share their ideas for reducing stress in their lives. The winning entry came from Jeanne Leffers of Richmond, Indiana, who will receive an autographed first edition of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women and a beauty gift basket to pamper herself with. Here are Jeanne's winning recommendations:

1. Downsize Look at every thing you have from space to shoes and try to downsize. Examine all of it and consider yourself, not friends, relatives or advertising. If you downsize you will find time to smell the roses, relax, put your feet up and enjoy a good book. Your number one priority should be getting rid of the over-abundance.

2. Find humor Read the funnies, learn to tell a joke, read books cataloged under humor , and when you see a cartoon that makes you laugh out loud, cut it out and post it where you can continue to enjoy it. Share kid's jokes with the children you meet. A famous person wrote a book about how he cured his serious disease by watching comic movies. Find a Charlie Chaplin movie and enjoy a belly laugh.

3. Forgive and forget To maintain and cherish your relationships, learn to forgive others' transgressions, overlook their foibles and mistakes, and forget about the time your sister-in-law threw the mustard dish at you. (And if you have been saving the stained outfit all these years, throw it away!)

4. Prioritize Every time there is competition for your attention, stop to consider which is more important. Try to go with your heart just as often as you follow your head. If you have children at home, remind yourself frequently that they are there temporarily and many years of their absence will follow their presence. Make lists of perceived jobs; it is easier to see which must really get done and which can be ignored. When the jobs are completed, cross them off with a red pen; it is very satisfying!

5. Exercise If you can downsize and prioritize you will be able to find time to exercise. It may be the most important activity of your day. A favorite for me is an early morning power walk with a bit of jogging (I call it running!) included. If you have been a couch potato, start your exercise program slowly and work toward a goal slowly.
 

One day about six years ago I was driving across the San Francisco Bay Bridge with my then three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Kenna. She was looking out the window when she asked me, in a curious yet serious tone, "Daddy, why is everyone so angry?" 

Coming from…

Behind the Book by

<b>Realizing a sister’s vision</b> Our sister, Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas, passionately pursued a dream: the creation of a book called <b>You Can Do It!</b>.

The book was a distillation of the way she lived her life with creativity, courage, and an infectious exuberance and the way she hoped to spread the words of the book’s title to other women. Her message is best summed up by a line from the movie <i>The Shawshank Redemption</i>, a quote she stuck on her fridge: Get busy living or get busy dying. The quote is especially poignant because we lost Lauren, a passenger on United Flight 93, on September 11, 2001.

But while tragedy ended her life, it far from defined it. The Lauren working on <b>You Can Do It!</b> was a woman in her mid-30s who loved learning, having new experiences and facing down fears. A married career woman, she knew that daily to-do lists made it next to impossible for women to think about, let alone get around to doing, the things on their <i>want</i>-to-do lists. But she also knew how wonderful she felt when she made the time to dream and dare and do the things on her own such list, and she felt she had a surefire way to invite other women to experience the thrill of accomplishment.

Lauren was inspired by the concept of Girl Scout badges. She envisioned a book that would offer a tantalizing menu of the kinds of things women so often say they’re too busy, tired or afraid to try, broken down into fun and doable steps and capped at the finish line with a tangible, ta-da reward: a badge.

Lauren bubbled with excitement when she talked about her dream book and in her can-do style, she took it very seriously, going so far as to quit her job to work full-time toward its publication.

So after Lauren’s death, even in the midst of shock and grief, we wondered, what about Lauren’s book? We knew nothing about book publishing, had resolved as a family to keep our grief private and were extremely wary of anyone exploiting Lauren’s life story in any way. But the book had meant the world to Lauren. Was there a way for us to finish what she had started? We made contact with Caroline Herter, the independent book producer Lauren had teamed up with. Slowly and carefully, we all moved forward, spending more than two years creating the 500-page book covering activities from acting to activism, surfing to singing, growing a garden to growing a business. Lauren’s vision was realized in 60 chapters, complete with full-color, peel-and-stick badges. To make it a true women-helping-women book, accomplished women in many fields provided real-world mentoring. These busy women (including the executive editor of <i>Kiplinger’s Personal Finance</i> magazine, the leader of the first women’s ascent of Annapurna, and the founder of Shepherd’s Garden Seeds catalog) gave a first glimpse of how the book would be embraced by donating their time and talents.

The resulting book is exactly what Lauren imagined. Practical and inspiring, it’s a bit like a great cookbook. You pick it up thinking that you are looking for one thing and wind up finding 20 other things you can’t wait to try! Every step of the way, we have tried to be Lauren’s eyes and ears, and now, her voice. This isn’t always easy. Doing this on Lauren’s behalf (and on behalf of the Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas Foundation, where a portion of proceeds from the book will go) feels right, but there’s no way around it: on some days the deep sorrow that <i>Lauren</i> isn’t doing this comes to the fore. Working side by side, as sisters <i>for</i> our sister is comforting, and we’ve also found that the book has been positive for our whole family. The book is Lauren, and working on it together has, in a very real and meaningful way, kept her close to us.

We remember talking to Lauren about how amazing it would be to someday see two women sitting at a cafŽ with a copy of <b>You Can Do It!</b> on the table between them. That’s no longer a dream. Now, women can hear Lauren say, "C’mon! Live the biggest, boldest, best life you can while you can." The publication of <b>You Can Do It!</b> means that Lauren’s dream has finally come true, which doesn’t really surprise us; Lauren <i>always</i> knew we could all do it!

<b>Realizing a sister's vision</b> Our sister, Lauren Catuzzi Grandcolas, passionately pursued a dream: the creation of a book called <b>You Can Do It!</b>.

The book was a distillation of the way she lived her life with creativity, courage, and an infectious exuberance and…

Review by

Michelle Lovric has compiled another charming, illustrated anthology of letters that allows readers the frisson of peeking at other people’s mail. Woman to Woman: Letters to Mothers, Sisters, Daughters and Friends is the result of five years of research into the correspondence of women of all ages, famous and obscure. Grouped by the roles of womanhood such as child, student, young lover, mother, mentor, etc. the letters reveal the common experiences of all women, from all epochs and cultures. Most enchanting are the three-dimensional facsimiles of real handwritten letters from Jane Austen, Mary Shelley, Marie Antoinette, and others.

Michelle Lovric has compiled another charming, illustrated anthology of letters that allows readers the frisson of peeking at other people's mail. Woman to Woman: Letters to Mothers, Sisters, Daughters and Friends is the result of five years of research into the correspondence of women of…

Review by

Jimmy Carter is getting into the act of promoting positive aging. In his 12th book, The Virtues of Aging, the former President joins America’s luminaries on this increasingly popular topic in exuding confidence in the good life after 65 and exhorting each and every one of us to follow suit.

All should decide on a life path which, above all, centers on giving us a purpose, quality relationships, and a disciplined exercise program. We should see our lives as expanding, not contracting, writes Carter, who at age 56 left the White House and Washington.

He and his wife, Rosalynn now enjoying their second 50 years of marriage returned to Plains, Georgia, where he writes they struggled to find their place again in the world away from the political spotlight and outside the frenzied Washington beltway.

After months of uncertainty except when the concern was returning their peanut farm to prosperity, the Carters established the Carter Center in nearby Atlanta as the focus for pursuing their multiple interests.

From this enviable vantage point, the Carters together and individually convene meetings on favorite topics of national and international import, participate with hammer and pliers in Habitat for Humanity (building houses for those who are less well off), and maintain an interest in promoting international citizen exchange through the Friendship Force.

Paraphrasing a verse from the Old Testament, Carter tells his readers to forget caution and take a chance.

The Virtues of Aging is a virtuous (sometimes saccharine sweet) book written by a virtuous man. The author’s approach is down-home and conversational. He might preach on occasion ( Social Security laws must change. )He also might meander, but never far from his readers who feel as if they are sitting across the kitchen table in Plains.

We almost see him blush when he deals all too briefly with the subject of sexuality and aging, reminding us painfully of his admission of experiencing lust in his heart. In a chapter entitled What Is Successful Aging?, Carter writes, You may be surprised to learn that I think one of the most important [goals] should be our own happiness. Well, not really. But read this short and sweet book anyway. It’s written to the point, which is this: go experience life, even though you’ve crossed the threshold of 65.

Marsha VandeBerg is a writer in San Francisco and founding national editor of a magazine for readers who are 50 and older.

Jimmy Carter is getting into the act of promoting positive aging. In his 12th book, The Virtues of Aging, the former President joins America's luminaries on this increasingly popular topic in exuding confidence in the good life after 65 and exhorting each and every one…

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To guide you on the path of positivity in the new year, four books provide support, affirmation and inspiration.

Beginners

In Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning, author Tom Vanderbilt demonstrates the importance of cultivating curiosity and trying new skills on for size. Vanderbilt was looking for ways to reengage with life when—taking a cue from his inquisitive young daughter—he decided to immerse himself in activities he’d always wanted to tackle, including drawing, singing and surfing. “I was a quick study when it came to facts,” Vanderbilt writes, “but what had I actually learned to do lately?”

In Beginners, Vanderbilt reveals what it’s like to pick up skills as an adult novice. He blends his personal story with research into neuroscience, psychology and education and recounts his rookie experiences with humor and heart. His insights into midlife learning will resonate with readers who have a desire to try new pursuits but may need a little nudge. Beginners, he says, is not “a ‘how to do’ book as much as a ‘why to do’ book. . . . It’s about small acts of reinvention, at any age, that can make life seem magical.” As Vanderbilt proves, there’s no expiration date on the ability to learn. Pick up a copy of Beginners and make 2021 a time of discovery.


ALSO IN BOOKPAGE: Tom Vanderbilt narrates the audiobook for Beginners, and it’s just the encouragement we all need.


This Book Will Make You Kinder

If becoming a nicer, more tolerant human is one of your objectives for the year ahead, then check out Henry James Garrett’s This Book Will Make You Kinder: An Empathy Handbook. Garrett’s academic background is in the field of metaethics, the study of the nature and meaning of morality, and he views empathy—“our capacity to experience those feelings we witness in others”—as the primary motivator of human kindness. In his new book, he offers guidance on how to maximize our empathetic impulse.

As he provides advice on overcoming limitations to empathy, building better listening skills and coming to grips with your own potential for not being nice, Garrett outlines concrete steps to help you increase your kindness quotient. A bang-up artist (you may have seen his Instagram account, Drawings of Dogs), his delightfully droll illustrations of talking animals and objects (e.g., two magic markers discuss the impact of coloring outside the lines) bring levity to his lessons. “If you don’t do the work of good listening, of paying attention,” Garrett writes, “you’ll continue to be cruel in ways you otherwise couldn’t and will fail to be outrageously kind in ways you otherwise would.” A total attitude-changer, this book will carry you into the new year on a tide of positivity.

Laziness Does Not Exist

In Laziness Does Not Exist, social psychologist Devon Price explores the culture of work and how our society’s emphasis on achievement is leading to burnout and exhaustion. From an early age, Price says, we’re conditioned to believe that productivity equals self-worth—an idea that’s part of what they call the “laziness lie,” which leads to feelings of guilt over not doing enough. “It’s also the force that compels us to work ourselves to sickness,” Price explains.

Price proposes that we adjust our perspectives on work and stop using achievement as a benchmark for appraising personal value. In the book, they take a cleareyed look at the science and psychology behind the concepts of laziness and productivity and share stories from folks who have grappled with work-life balance.

Perhaps most importantly, the author stresses the necessity of simple relaxation: “It’s not evil to have limitations and to need breaks.” With tips on setting boundaries and integrating beneficial techniques like expressive writing into your daily routine, Price’s book will give you a fresh perspective on the meaning of success—and the confidence to schedule more “me-time” this year.

Friendshipping

Making friends is a basic element of socialization, yet the ability to bond doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and many people find that the process becomes more difficult as they get older. How can we break down the barriers that keep us from connecting with others? Authors Jenn Bane and Trin Garritano offer answers in Friendshipping: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends.

Hosts of the popular “Friendshipping” podcast, the authors have devoted many hours to the study of social networks large and small, and their chatty, accessible book collects the best of their advice, with suggestions on how to make new friends, how to handle a friendship that could be morphing into something more and how to call it quits when a friendship fails. The volume also includes valuable questions from podcast listeners and sample scripts that will kick-start your socialization skills.

Featuring fabulous illustrations by Jean Wei, Friendshipping provides readers with the right tools for building—and sustaining—valuable relationships. Whether you’re looking to enlarge your circle of intimates or cultivate more one-on-one connections this year, Bane and Garritano will help you develop habits and behaviors that will widen your world.

To guide you on the path of positivity in the new year, four books provide support, affirmation and inspiration.

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