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All Self-Help Coverage

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Self-help books crowd the shelves of America’s bookstores, beckoning consumers with all sorts of hopeful promises—from thinner thighs and bigger bank accounts to spiritual and sexual nirvanas. Though Richard Stengel’s publisher has placed his instructive book, Mandela’s Way, in the self-help genre, it stands head and shoulders above the rest of the assistive literary hoi polloi.

Stengel, the editor of Time magazine, collaborated with the liberator and Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela on his 1994 autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. He spent nearly three years with Mandela, conducting hours of extensive interviews, traveling with him, shadowing his every move. “I kept a diary of my time with him that eventually grew to 120,000 words,” writes Stengel in the book’s introduction. “Much of this book comes from those notes.”

Distilled from those jottings are 15 essential lessons modeled on Stengel’s observations and interpretations of Mandela’s courage and wisdom, exemplary leadership, compassion and love of humanity. From clear words on courage and self-control (“be measured”) to the benefits of presenting a good image, seeing the good in others, keeping your rivals and enemies close (this particular dictum is famously chronicled in the recent movie Invictus) and believing in the difference that love can make, the lessons are seamlessly intertwined with stories from Mandela’s life. This texture is one of the book’s key strengths, but a beautiful grace note is Stengel’s undiluted—yet clear-sighted—regard for the complex man who survived an unspeakably difficult 27-year incarceration and who said of his prison experience, “I came out mature.”

Ultimately, the true light of this inspirational book is the utter believability of these lessons. The hotheaded young Mandela, protégé of a tribal king who turned into a fierce freedom fighter, grew gradually into a man who, literally and figuratively, “found his own garden.” Though at age 91 Mandela is in the twilight of his life, he still personifies this grand lesson plan, these 15 deceptively simple steps to empowering self and others.

Alison Hood writes from Marin County, California.

Self-help books crowd the shelves of America’s bookstores, beckoning consumers with all sorts of hopeful promises—from thinner thighs and bigger bank accounts to spiritual and sexual nirvanas. Though Richard Stengel’s publisher has placed his instructive book, Mandela’s Way, in the self-help genre, it stands head…

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Coke or Pepsi. Bush or Gore. Sink or swim. If asked to select from any of these pairs, you might assume taste, political affiliation and basic human nature would influence your respective choices. But in Sheena Iyengar’s view, it’s more likely that emotional ties to a brand, the randomness of where a name appears on a ballot and the notion that survival is still possible are what swayed you in one direction or another.

And Iyengar should know. A professor at Columbia University and innovator in the study of choice, her work has been cited by many authors; you’ll probably find that you’ve heard of at least one of her studies before, such as the “jam study.” Iyengar and her research team set up an experiment in a Draeger’s supermarket in which they let customers sample from either six or 24 flavors of gourmet jam. Thirty percent of those who sampled from the smaller batch bought a jar of jam, but only 3 percent who sampled from the larger group made a purchase. The moral? Sometimes less to choose from leads to more in terms of sales; too many choices may dissuade us from making any choice at all.

In The Art of Choosing, Iyengar recounts her studies and observations with an emphasis on helping us to be more thoughtful and better-informed when faced with decisions. Sometimes that’s just a matter of knowing you have choices; at other times, eliminating multiple options is the key to wise decisions. “Unlike captive animals,” she writes, “. . . we have the ability to create choice by altering our interpretations of the world.” So can we filter out bias and rely only on our core values to make decisions?

The book’s studies and hypothetical questions draw from psychology, economics, medicine, philosophy and other fields to show how often choice is an issue; this grab-bag approach keeps the writing from bogging down in any one topic while still making points effectively. Iyengar’s wit and engaging writing style ease the reader through chapters on harder choices, from taking a loved one off life support to the paradox inherent in American life: that freedom of choice should make us happy, but having too many options is overwhelming and often leads to depression. These and other hard choices—even “Sophie’s Choice”—are thoughtfully explored. She also offers a description of her parents’ arranged marriage as an example of freedom from choice.

Iyengar hopes that understanding the thinking behind our choices may lead us to “metaphorical multilingualism,” or understanding that goes beyond mere tolerance. She manifests it in her own work by writing with “sighted” language despite being blind since early childhood, and she encourages others to take a step outside what they might consider normal in order to enlarge their own views on life. Read The Art of Choosing, and be prepared to see the options life presents you through new eyes.

Heather Seggel reads and writes in Ukiah, California.

 

 

Coke or Pepsi. Bush or Gore. Sink or swim. If asked to select from any of these pairs, you might assume taste, political affiliation and basic human nature would influence your respective choices. But in Sheena Iyengar’s view, it’s more likely that emotional ties to…

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The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a small, but mind-expanding book based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The Toltec society formed thousands of years ago near what is now Mexico City, in order to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones. An expansion of his popular book, The Four Agreements, this new volume offers more Toltec wisdom: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Ruiz describes his own spiritual journey but offers many Points to Ponder that will propel you on your own search for wisdom and inner peace. So what are you waiting for? With books like these to guide you, put your best foot forward and march confidently into the new year. The best is yet to come! Linda Stankard continues to be her own work in progress.

The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a small, but mind-expanding book based on ancient Toltec wisdom. The Toltec society formed thousands of years ago near what is now Mexico City, in order to explore and conserve…
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From Ken Linder, an attorney and career counselor for some of the country’s most prominent journalists, comes Crunch Time: 8 Steps to Making the Right Decisions When it Counts. Making the right decision is not always an easy task, but Linder’s book offers logical steps to find the choice that is right for you. He uses many relevant scenarios to illustrate his points, such as the recent imbroglios of former President Clinton, Martha Stewart and Kobe Bryant. One really bad decision, he warns, especially if it involves a display of poor character can tarnish all of the good things you may have previously accomplished. Linder offers Strata-Gems at the end of each chapter to encapsulate his main messages and encourages you to celebrate and savor the constructive decisions you have already made.

Linda Stankard continues to be her own work in progress.

From Ken Linder, an attorney and career counselor for some of the country's most prominent journalists, comes Crunch Time: 8 Steps to Making the Right Decisions When it Counts. Making the right decision is not always an easy task, but Linder's book offers logical steps…
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Joel Osteen’s book Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential, offers an outline for a higher level of existence in the here and now. Osteen is the young, enthusiastic pastor of the diverse, Houston-based Lakewood Church, which has more than 30,000 members, and his inspirational television program is viewed in 100 million households worldwide. Clearly, Osteen’s outline for a life of health, abundance and victory comes from a Christian perspective. He believes that while God wants to help us, we must do our part to allow God to promote us, to increase us, to give us more. The seven steps he describes are a means to opening that path. Like Ford, he encourages us to dream big and move beyond the mundane. Osteen recognizes that life can throw everything from disappointment to disaster at us, but his outlook remains optimistic. Our human tendency, he writes, is to want everything easily. But without opposition or resistance, there is no potential for progress. Without the resistance of air, an eagle can’t soar. Linda Stankard continues to be her own work in progress.

Joel Osteen's book Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential, offers an outline for a higher level of existence in the here and now. Osteen is the young, enthusiastic pastor of the diverse, Houston-based Lakewood Church, which has more than…
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Remember the old adage: Good, better, best; never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best ? Well, here are four books that can show you how to move from mediocre to marvelous in 2005. Best-selling author Debbie Ford (The Dark Side of the Light) offers a guide to reaching out and grasping the life we have always dreamed about in The Best Year of Your Life: Dream It, Plan It, Live It. Stop believing that the best year of your life exists somewhere off in the future, she admonishes. According to Ford, the time is here and now, and the choice is yours. As the title indicates, the book is divided into three sections. The Dream It section emphasizes the importance of dreams and desires, and how creating a powerful intent is the first step in creating your best self. The Plan It section offers a structured approach to defining and achieving goals which includes strategic exercises and straightforward examples, such as a 15-question checklist for taking charge of your life. Finally, the Live It section explains how to put those plans into action with zest, integrity and joy. Ford does not shirk from acknowledging that her plan requires effort, commitment and courage. But if you give 100 percent to the process, she ensures that having your best year yet will be more than a pipe dream; it will be your destiny. Linda Stankard continues to be her own work in progress.

Remember the old adage: Good, better, best; never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best ? Well, here are four books that can show you how to move from mediocre to marvelous in 2005. Best-selling author Debbie Ford (The…
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According to King Solomon, wisdom cries in the street, imploring the simple to acquire her reproof. If it were only that easy. Wisdom may cry in the street, but it also hides in the nooks and crannies of our psyches, walks on the waters of our adversities and disguises itself in paradox and poetry. In his inspiring book, Where Shall Wisdom Be Found?, literary critic Harold Bloom explores the great writing of Western culture in his quest for wisdom. Bloom’s criteria are simple: he is searching for Truth, Beauty and Insight. Drawing from the writings of the ancient Hebrews and Greeks, the classic literature of Shakespeare and Cervantes, and the philosophical musings of Goethe and Nietzsche, Bloom attempts to synthesize the wisdom of the ages into a succinct syllabus. “We read and reflect,” he writes, “because we hunger and thirst for wisdom.”

According to King Solomon, wisdom cries in the street, imploring the simple to acquire her reproof. If it were only that easy. Wisdom may cry in the street, but it also hides in the nooks and crannies of our psyches, walks on the waters…
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Popular author Marianne Williamson begins her new book, The Gift of Change, on the seemingly unremarkable premise that life is tough and rapidly getting tougher. In a world where the only constant is change, Williamson advocates the radical concept of embracing change as the only efficacious avenue for spiritual growth. Whether we like it or not, she writes, life today is different. The speed of change is faster than the human psyche seems able to handle. In a time when the “center does not hold,” Williamson insists the most important thing to remember during these times of momentous change is to fix our eyes on the one thing that doesn’t change God. Indeed, while many see this era as the precursor to Armageddon, Williamson believes it is the time of the Great Beginning. “It is time to die to who we used to be and to become instead who we are capable of being,” she writes.

Popular author Marianne Williamson begins her new book, The Gift of Change, on the seemingly unremarkable premise that life is tough and rapidly getting tougher. In a world where the only constant is change, Williamson advocates the radical concept of embracing change as the…
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Sometimes broad black humor is required, and sometimes the suffering is too delicate for anything other than the most quietly astute words. Blue Peninsula: Essential Words for a Life of Loss and Change is an unusual hybrid of health memoir and favorite poems book, detailing former teacher, researcher and editor Madge McKeithen’s struggle with her son Ike’s mysterious illness. McKeithen is consoled by compulsively reading poem after poem ripped from magazines and books and tucked into thick medical files that she ferries from clinic to clinic while trying to figure out what is happening to her son. I became a poetry addict, she writes, poems became almost all I could read. Blue Peninsula features excerpts of works by Billy Collins, Donald Hall, e.e. cummings, Louise GlŸck, Mark Doty, Sharon Olds, Czeslaw Milosz and many others; their precise, concentrated wisdom becomes at times near lifesaving for McKeithen as she faces her son’s uncertain future and herself as mother, diagramming the words and her own procession through isolation, frustration, sorrow and small slivers of light. Do I have it in me to reach for Peace, Hope, even Delight? McKeithen asks, referencing the Emily Dickinson poem that gives the book its title.

Sometimes broad black humor is required, and sometimes the suffering is too delicate for anything other than the most quietly astute words. Blue Peninsula: Essential Words for a Life of Loss and Change is an unusual hybrid of health memoir and favorite poems book,…
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White-knuckle flyers and their struggles while suspended in those big aluminum tubes in the sky inspired Chicken Soup for the Soul Presents The Fearless FlightKit. Compiled by pilots Ron Nielsen and Tim Piering, the kit contains a pocket-sized guide to bring onboard that explains every sound and sensation during takeoff and landing. The Real Life Fearful Flyer Stories booklet details the sagas of ordinary people who are also licking their panic habits. Finally, the kit’s 30-minute “Flight Harmonizer” CD grounds fearful thoughts before and during flight with a mesmerizing blend of voices, sounds and music. Some intonations soothe (“Your seatbelt is firmly attached. You are safe.”); others lead flyers into New Age territory (“It’s about taking off in all areas of your life”). Obsessing about crashes and other terrifying possibilities will be almost impossible while this gentle symphony swirls through your ears.

But the most persuasive aspect of the kit is the confession of Fearless FlightKit creator Nielsen, who flies commercial aircraft and also has a degree in counseling. “I really believe in the power of self-disclosing,” says Nielsen, who was nearly grounded by his own fear of flying during his Air Force training. “My expertise comes from my own fears in life.”

White-knuckle flyers and their struggles while suspended in those big aluminum tubes in the sky inspired Chicken Soup for the Soul Presents The Fearless FlightKit. Compiled by pilots Ron Nielsen and Tim Piering, the kit contains a pocket-sized guide to bring onboard that explains every…
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Anyone who has ever sat facing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream with a grimness better suited to a chess match with Death himself knows Geneen Roth’s work. Roth has made a career teaching people to look within and question the motivations underlying their behavior around food, balancing ruthless self-inquiry with a gentle assessment of the facts uncovered. She’s logged couch time with Oprah, so it’s not surprising that many of her books, like Women Food and God, have been bestsellers.

The surprise she encounters in Lost and Found is that her meticulous focus on food and eating contrasted with a gaping blind spot about money, “as if money were as deadly as the plague and even thinking about it would lead me to being one of the bad guys.”

The catalyst for this realization was catastrophic: Roth and her husband lost their life savings in Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. After a period of mourning, she noticed that the cycle of binge-eating and starvation she had previously worked through had now been replaced by similar patterns of shopping and hoarding. Yet if anyone could make lemonade out of such difficult circumstances, it’s Roth, whose persistence and curiosity can help make sense of any addictive behavior. She opens up a conversation about money with exercises that she has used with retreat participants, along with some of their responses, and adds plenty of insight from her own soul-searching. She writes, “If I could believe that we didn’t have enough when we did and then lose it and believe that we did have enough—what or where is enough?”

Roth and her husband are now on the path back to fiscal solvency. With Lost and Found, she has made a gift of wisdom to readers that may help them make the same journey.

 

Anyone who has ever sat facing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream with a grimness better suited to a chess match with Death himself knows Geneen Roth’s work. Roth has made a career teaching people to look within and question the motivations underlying…

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<B>I’m in a hurry and don’t know why</B> Journalist Carl HonorŽ, a self-confessed speedaholic, has, thankfully, downshifted enough to write <B>In Praise of Slowness</B>. A call for perspective and balance, rather than a rant against speed, the book examines how our world came to be so frenetic and how this pace affects us. It also explores alternative lifestyles, especially the Slow Movement, that are gaining healthful ground.

Our speedy, technological modern age negatively affects our minds, bodies and spirits. The global mantra to do more, faster, has dangerously homogenized our life rhythms we eat, sleep, work, play at an ever breathless pace. HonorŽ, when he encounters a newspaper article, “The One-Minute Bedtime Story,” realizes, “My life has turned into an exercise in hurry. . . . I am Scrooge with a stopwatch . . . . And I am not alone.” This skillful blend of investigative reportage, history and reflection on time and our relationship to it makes In Praise of Slowness a book whose arrival couldn’t be, well, better timed.

<B>I'm in a hurry and don't know why</B> Journalist Carl HonorŽ, a self-confessed speedaholic, has, thankfully, downshifted enough to write <B>In Praise of Slowness</B>. A call for perspective and balance, rather than a rant against speed, the book examines how our world came to be…
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Maya Angelou, the renowned poet, writer, performer, teacher and director, calls on each of us to do nothing short of "something wonderful for humanity" in her new autobiographical book, Letter to My Daughter. In her introduction, Angelou explains that the title refers to her "thousands of daughters" of every color, religion and persuasion – women "fat and thin, pretty and plain, gay and straight, educated and unlettered. I am talking to you all." (So listen up!) Now in her seventh decade, the famed author of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings shares her remarkable life experiences (some downright terrifying) and down – to – earth wisdom ("The epitome of sophistication is utter simplicity") with humility and candor as she calls on women to play a special role in leading the way to a better world. Reminding us of America's noble ideals and lofty promise she asks, "Didn't we dream of a country where freedom was in the national conscience and dignity was the goal?" With faith, kindness and a sprinkling of poetry, Angelou's Letter to My Daughter sheds her gentle, intelligent light down the rocky road ahead.

SEA OF LOVE
Like Angelou, Marian Wright Edelman believes that women, as the bearers of life (and half the voting population), must become a stronger force for justice and decency. Edelman is the founder and president of the Children's Defense Fund and author of the bestseller The Measure of Our Success. She's an outspoken advocate for civil and human rights and her latest book, The Sea Is So Wide and My Boat Is So Small: Charting a Course for the Next Generation, urges personal activism, "standing up and reclaiming our children, families, communities, our moral values and our nation." Despite the "unjust odds handed them by the lottery of birth," millions of children, Edelman notes, "are living heroic lives" and deserve to be affirmed, empowered and celebrated. Written as open letters to our past and present leaders, our youth and all of us as citizens, Edelman asks, "What kind of people do we Americans seek to be in the twenty – first century? What kind of people do we want our children to be? What kind of choices and sacrifices are we prepared to make to realize a more just, compassionate and less violent society and world – one safe and fit for every child?" Edelman's book offers advice, anecdotes, statistics, resources and prayers to guide us – like a lighthouse if you will – to more stable waters in these turbulent seas.

YOUNG MAN WITH A HORN
The deeply moving story of Patrick Henry Hughes, born in 1988 with a rare genetic disorder that left him without eyes and with limbs that would never fully develop, is a source of inspiration for anyone battling against the odds. Despite being blind and unable to fully extend his arms, at nine months old the young Hughes displayed an uncanny ability – he could locate and play back the notes his dad struck on the piano. Today, thanks to his love for music and his parents' unwavering faith, Hughes, at 20, is already an award – winning pianist, singer and trumpet player and currently a student at the University of Louisville majoring in Spanish. I Am Potential: Eight Lessons on Living, Loving, and Reaching Your Dreams, by Patrick Henry Hughes, written with his father Patrick John Hughes and Bryant Stamford, tells his amazing story from birth to the present day by alternating between his point – of – view and his dad's. As they chronicle their journey and share their learned "life lessons," I Am Potential emerges as more than an incredible triumph – over – adversity tale or a beautiful father/son relationship saga. It also evolves into the story of how helping one boy fight to achieve his dreams gave so many others the opportunity to expand their own abilities and capacities – to become their best selves.

Maya Angelou, the renowned poet, writer, performer, teacher and director, calls on each of us to do nothing short of "something wonderful for humanity" in her new autobiographical book, Letter to My Daughter. In her introduction, Angelou explains that the title refers to her "thousands…

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